As Santa returned from his worldwide tour
Mrs. Claus met him at the Polar front door
“You look tired my Dear more than last year
I hope all went well and I’m glad you are here!”

“May I get you some tea or a sandwich to eat?”
“No…I’m full of cookies and I’m dead on my feet!”
As Santa rested in his big easy chair
He noticed a large package…”What is that there?”

“Did I not gift some girl or some boy…
A small child that I’ve failed to bring Christmas joy?”
“No Dear…not at all!” Mrs. Claus then replied
“It was brought by someone who left it outside!”

“The tag said “To Santa…Father Christmas…St. Nick…
And whomever left it was quiet and quick!”
“Ah that I was as quiet and quick as before
I was almost seen at three houses or four!”

“Perhaps I’ve gotten too old for this task
Each Christmas I wonder…Will this be my last?”
“Well it would be nice if you were younger that’s true
In just one evening there’s so much to do.”

“But open your package….it’s your first present ever!”
“No one sends Santa a present…no never!”
Santa ripped the gift wrapping off like a child
Excitement danced in his eyes like fire wild

Then suddenly a great light shone from within
The gift was so bright it made the sun seem quite dim
And after a minute the light quickly went black
Knocking Santa over, he lay flat on his back!

“Oh my Dear are you all right?
That strange package had an unworldly light!”
Santa leaped high up…two feet off the ground
“Yes Dear I think…I think I’m all sound”

“What?…Did you see that…did you see what I did?
I jumped up off that floor like I was a…kid!”
“Oh yes Dear I saw that and you look younger too!”
“I feel full of life and…well…I feel almost new!”

And then Santa kissed her as they both shed a tear!
“I’m so excited…I can’t wait for next year!”

If you recall the story “Young Santa” you know how Santa first met his amazing Reindeer but I don’t think that I ever told you how they got their individual names.

It became a distinct necessity when Santa first hitched them all up to the sleigh and then tried to direct them. “You there second from front left…pull a bit right!”

Well…as you might imagine, it caused some confusion and delay since the reindeer were all counting rows and lefts and rights to figure out which one of them Santa was actually directing. This could never be when flying and especially landing on tight and may I add slippery rooftops at night.

So Santa decided that each reindeer needed an individual name. He lined them all up in the barn and interviewed each reindeer to determine their individual personalities in order to give them an appropriate name.

First was the most muscular and actually slightly largest reindeer that Santa wanted on the first row right. Since Santa was right handed he preferred to make right turns whenever possible.
“Let’s see. What do you like to do in your spare time?”…he asked the first reindeer.

“Well…I like to run fast whenever I can…if I were a human I’d be a sprinter.”
“Well…then I’ll call you sprinter!” decided Santa.
“Ah…Santa…that sounds like “splinter”…I HATE splinters.”
“All right…let’s see…how about DASHER?”

“LOVE IT!”
“Dasher it is. Next!”
Well, the next reindeer clicked his heels…ah hooves….since he was so glad that it was his turn.

He could hardly stand still waiting for Santa to suggest his name.
Then Santa said…”My…my….you’ll have to stand still and stop dancing around so that I can decide what name is best for you.”
“That’s IT! Thank you Santa I love it!”
“Ah… Love What?” inquired Santa.
“Dancer…I’m DANCER!”

“OK….then …I…guess….who’s next?”
“Oh…Gee….I wanted to be Dancer….I love dancing and prancing around…I do it all the time…almost.”
“Great….then you will be PRANCER! How’s that?”
“Perfect! Thanks, Santa.”

“OK….you there…”
Then a shy somewhat smaller and a bit prettier reindeer stepped to the front and in a gentle voice asked “ME?”
“I have the right name for you since you are female how about…VIXEN?”
“Hmmm…a female fox is named that…and they are very cute…OK thank you, Santa.”

“OK….and…”
Suddenly a reindeer instantly appeared right in front of Santa in a flash.
“Wow…you are quick as a flash…you should be named….something quick and flashy…COMET! How’s that?”
“Yes…yes…yes…COMET…that’s me!”

“Hey this is going pretty well,” said Santa complimenting himself.
Then Santa realized that he shouldn’t have been so quick to brag, which as we all know is not a good thing to do anyway, because he had a very difficult time with the very next Reindeer.
He didn’t have any hobbies and none of his personal skills suggested a name. Santa even asked for suggestions from the named and as yet un-named reindeer and nothing seemed to fit.

Santa thought and thought…”Ah…when were you born?”
“Ah…two winters ago.”
“No, I mean what date!”
“On February 14th Santa.”
“That’s it…you will be…CUPID!”
“Cupid…yeah…I like it!”

“Next! You will be in the last row on the left…right in front of me. But I think that I am running out of names. By the way…who else is left.”
“I am Sir…me and one other… OH….and that strange nosed reindeer out there under the tree.”

“Well…I’ve only got to name you two today…any ideas?”
“The next to last reindeer said …”When I was a baby…I would run so fast even Mom couldn’t catch me and she said that I “Ran like Lightning!”

“PERFECT” exclaimed Santa…you are Blitzen…that’s a Germanic word for Lightning.
Then Santa turned to the very last reindeer…”So little fellow I guess that makes you Donner the Germanic word for Thunder. But Mrs. Claus HATES thunder so we’ll make you DONDER and she won’t even know that we have a little secret about “Thunder and lightning” so you will be to the left of Blitzen in the last row right in front of me.”

Then Santa stood up tall and said…”ATTENTION REINDEER….TO YOUR POSITIONS ON THE DOUBLE!”
And after some jostling about… there was Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen…Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen all in their proper position and enjoying every moment.

Then Santa turned and whistled loudly toward the open field to the reindeer under the tree.
“RUDOLPH…come over here and join us at the front…and light up that headlight nose of yours!

Rudolph galloped over realizing not only was he NOT left out but actually would be the leader of all the reindeer in the very front of Santa’s sleigh!

But Rudolph did wonder where Santa came up with that name!

Santa and the elves were packing the Christmas toys into Santa’s great sack in preparation for his annual world flight to deliver gifts to each GOOD little girl and boy.
The very first gift placed into the huge golden bag was a train engine that tooted and clanged and puffed real looking smoke that was going to make some little boy or even little girl very happy this year.
“Thomas” was very happy and indeed honored to be the very first gift placed into Santa’s sack and as Thomas smiled and puffed-up his proud steam engine chest, a basketball bounced and clunked him right on his smokestack head!
“OUCH!” yelled Thomas…”that hurt!”
But before the basketball, an Official Size and Weight NBA Genuine leather ball could respond, a play kitchen stove came tumbling in on top of them!
“OOOmmmph!” exclaimed the ball and Tommy yelled “Hey…please watch where you are landing….that hurt!”
Tommy asked the basketball “Didn’t that hurt you when that kitchen stove landed on you?”
“Naw…” said the ball…”I get thrown around and bounced on the floor…all the time.”
“Wow!” said the train engine. “I’ve got a headache already and here comes another whole bunch of toys being thrown into the sack right on top of us!”
Well, Santa and the elves filled up the golden sack with thousands of toys…millions probably and by the time the last toy was put on top of the sack, Tommy could hardly chug and definately couldn’t move a wheel. The basketball was dented in slightly but was…well…having a ball!
Then the entire sack was lifted up and soon Tommy had the distinct feeling of flying….then landing…then flying again…then landing again and this went on for hours. But, at least the load of toys pushing down on Tommy was getting lighter and lighter.
Finally, after what seemed like days, but was really only hours, only the basketball and Tommy were left in the sack.
“I’ll see ya Tommy, I get off here. Billy Smith’s house I think, so Goodbye and have a Merry Christmas!”
Well, Tommy was sorry to see the basketball go but now Tommy could breathe normally and move his wheels all that he wanted.
Then Tommy felt a familiar white gloved hand reach down and grab him by his boiler.
“Ho…Ho…Ho…let’s go Tommy…this is your stop and my LAST one!”
Tommy did get a quick glimpse of Santa and all of the reindeer and the rooftop and then it was down the chimney and into the living room of Jimmy Williams, a seven year old boy who was still fast asleep in his bed even though it was nearing sunrise.
“Merry Christmas Tommy” Santa said as he swooped back UP the chimney.
Tommy was looking at the beautiful Christmas tree when all of a sudden “WOW!! MOMMY…DADDY….LOOK!!! Santa brought me Thomas The Tank Engine…the most wonderful toy in the whole world!”
“Yeah…a wonderful toy…”thought Tommy smiling but remembering all of those toys crushing him in Santa’s Golden Sack all Christmas Eve…”…and the very LAST one too!!!”

All of my socks are but a size two
They wouldn’t hold much so I knew what to do
I borrowed my Grandpa’s…his feet are really big
And I hope that Dear Santa doesn’t think I’m a Pig!

I hung Grandpa’s stocking by the chimney with care
If I’d hung up size two…well it wouldn’t be fair
Most kids I know hang socks that are HUGE
I hope no one thinks that I’m being a Scrooge

But I have something that I want to report
And I’ll try to make this long story short
When I woke up early last Christmas morn
Left instead of MY sock was one that was worn

It was all red and fuzzy with a tear in the toe
It looked like it had been left out in the snow
And there was a note on the table nearby
It was written by Santa and it started out “HI…

“…I hope you don’t mind and your Grandfather too
But I tore my stocking when I slipped on your roof
So I borrowed your sock to aid me tonight
To help keep my toes warm and solve my small plight”

Well I thought Santa’s sock was the best gift EVER
And I told lots of folks but…believe me?…NEVER!
But I know it’s true and it’s just like I said
It’s Santa’s real stocking and it’s really quite red!

But the neatest of all I’ve yet to tell
About three days later I heard the doorbell
It was UPS and a guy dressed in brown
“I’ve a package from the North Pole’s Lost and Found

Sign here if you want it”…and so I did
Then guess what was there when I opened the lid?
YEP! Grandpa’s stocking…as good as new
And a note from Santa that just read “Thank You!”

Santa was busily delivering his Christmas bounty of gifts to GOOD little girls and boys when, instead of going on to the Smith’s house, next on his list, he circled around the Jones’ roof where he had just been because Santa thought that he had forgotten to leave the red bike with training wheels that Tommy had asked for.
Santa saw his own footprints in the snow but he also spotted a small person with a bag similar to his and the person was wearing a mask!
“What’s this?” exclaimed Santa. “This person is following me and I do believe that they may be taking the gifts that I’m leaving and that makes Santa very angry.”
Santa hovered the sleigh and commanded the reindeer to be very quiet as he watched to see the “bandit” emerge from the chimney, looking all around to see if they were being watched.
But they didn’t look up into the sky where Santa was hovering and that’s when Santa swooped in to land right in front of the “bandit” trapping them between the sled and the Jones’ chimney.
“SO!” Santa yelled, startling the person.
“Exactly WHAT are you doing following me and raiding the houses that I’ve gifted?”
“I…well…I…just…” the would be “Bandit” took off their mask as they spoke, and lo and behold it was a rather young woman who was speaking to Santa.
” I…was…just delivering these gift certificates to each house that you visit in this neighborhood. I figured that if you visit a home there must be good and deserving kids living there and I wanted to make sure these worthy families received the food vouchers so that they can have an even better Christmas.”
“Well…I’m amazed young lady, but why are you wearing the mask when you are doing such a noble deed?”
“I didn’t want anyone to know that I left the certificates and not Santa…well…you, Sir.”
“Hmmm…I see…I think. That’s a wonderful and generous thing that you’re doing but I don’t think that I should be given credit for something that you did.. But…tell you what! Why don’t you ride along with me from here on until you finish your generous giving?”
“Oh Santa, that would be wonderful!”
“And by the way, I recall leaving you that “Raggedy Ann” doll back a few years ago. You were a mostly good little girl “SARAH”, and you sure have become a fine young woman!”
And Sarah and Santa and the nine reindeer flew off to finish the Christmas Eve giving that is the true spirit that everyone should cherish and continue forever.

Dear Boys and Girls and Moms and Dads too
This is the first time I’m writing to you
The world has grown bigger and Santa has too
So I have a favor to ask all of you

‘Though I LOVE your gifts of cookies, milk and all that
Please try to leave fewer ’cause I’m getting too fat
Oh I’ve always been heavy Mrs. Claus tells me so
But there is a limit for my belly to grow

Chimneys are narrow ‘though I WISH they were wide
I’m finding it harder to get down inside
I COULD climb through a window or come in through the door
But if I do…there goes the folklore

It’s a modern world and I am traditional
So I cannot change and one thing additional
As I finish this letter I’ll make one more plea
Despite what you’re told…keep believing in me

SANTA

About the time that the North Pole elves gave Santa (formerly Kris Kringle) his famous name, Mrs. Kringle….ah…CLAUS told him that he needed a distinctive suit to wear on that special night.
All the elves and of course Santa agreed that it was a good idea but nobody…and I mean NO one could agree on the style and color.
Oh there were many suggestions about Robes and Parkas and even green tights…(that one obviously came from the Elves) and all agreed that there should be fur trimming too. (But NOT Caribou fur. Everyone and especially the reindeer, which are actually caribou themselves, unanimously agreed!)
Being an excellent seamstress as well as a VERY understanding wife, Mrs. Claus had a cupboard chock full of bolts of fabric in many colors, including in fact all of the colors of the rainbow.
Mrs. Claus held up samples of fabric under Santa’s chin to see how each color suited Santa’s coloring and svelte shape.
The Elves loved EVERY one, so of course their opinion was dismissed by Mrs. Claus (remember the tights suggestion?).
Well the white fabric almost made Santa disappear…sort of North Pole camouflage…and that just wouldn’t do.
No green…that was an Elf color…and the blue…well…picture a giant blueberry if you will.
The yellow was pretty good but the Elves couldn’t stop snickering and muttering something about “The Lemon That Ate The North Pole”
After that… I’m sure you all can guess what the Elves thought of Santa in an Orange suit.
Purple?…”NO!” Santa didn’t even allow his wife to hold that fabric anywhere near him.
There was one bolt of fabric left…all together now…. that’s right…RED!
“What do you think?” Mrs. Claus asked Santa.
“Hmmmm”….hmmmm’d Santa. And as he looked around all the Elves were nodding their pointy capped heads and gathering close by Santa.
“Ah…yes I like…no…I LOVE it!” exclaimed Santa.
“Whew!” the relieved Mrs. Claus sighed, and then set about to make the famous suit that Santa is never publicly seen without.
And in spite of what one Elf whispered upon first seeing Santa in his new red suit…Fire Engines are VERY masculine!

“The very last house too!” Santa had just extracted himself from the chimney on Christmas Eve when the motion detector set off the burglar alarm.
So there he was, munching his 267th cookie and 97th ounce of milk that night, when the entire Carter family, Mom and Dad and Jimmy and Sarah and of course, included were “Bark” the cat and “Meow” the cocker spaniel.
“Ah…Ho Ho Ho and all that!” said a very tired Santa who heard disgruntled and impatient hooves up on the roof.
When the Sheriff and his two deputies arrived, there were many apologies and wishes of Merry Christmas floating through the air.
“Wait…I’ve got something for all of you in the sleigh.” said Santa as he grunted his way back up the chimney.
A minute later he clumped to the hearth carrying an armful of Coca Colas and passed them around.
“The Coke CEO is a friend of mine! Train set when he was six.”
Then Santa gave out Best Buy gift cards to all. “Walkman, when that Chairman of the Board was seven.”
As Santa struggled up the last chimney for the last time this year, two deputies in the hearth, carefully pushing to assist, Sheriff Boyd called out “Happy Vacation Santa”.
“Thanks Calvin!” Santa’s voice echoed down the chimney.
“No one has called me Calvin since I was a boy!”

And that is another reason why Santa is SO COOL!

The very last chimney in the very last house that Santa visited on Christmas Eve proved to be just a wee bit too narrow for Santa and his belly full of cookies and milk.
If it weren’t for Blitzen’s quick thinking using the emergency can of WD40 that was in the sleigh’s tool kit…well Santa might have been stuck in there until New Years!
With the maximum effort by 5 of the “worn out from flying” reindeer, they were able after 12 long minutes to eventually ease Santa up and out onto the roof of 8954B6 Changyang Palace Road and back into the sleigh.
Santa’s suit was ripped and smudged and Mrs’ Claus would have to sew a brand new suit before next Christmas for sure!
Mrs. Claus knew it the moment Santa returned to the North Pole as she waited for him with a sugar-free hot chocolate…Santa ABSOLUTELY HAD TO go immediately on a diet!
Well…from January through November Santa didn’t eat a single snow cone, his favorite flavor being “Starlight” and he switched to Diet Cokes and ate lots of iceberg lettuce (without dressing…ah…salad dressing that is) and Mrs. Claus made him loads of snow peas but he couldn’t have even a taste of his favorite sandwich ingredients…cold cuts and North Polish Sausage!
Santa got just a tad grumpy but he did get less and less fat until he finally got onto the scale in November and he had lost so much weight that it didn’t even register on his “Special” Santa scale which was specially set to not count the first 150 pounds.
(It was a Christmas present from Rudolph.)
Santa went on his annual trip to the Thanksgiving Day Parade and not one single person recognized him and even after he showed his pilot’s license they wouldn’t let him ride in the parade. “Santa didn’t show up this year,” they all said, which of course made Santa doubly sad.
What to do?
With only 30 days to go Santa knew that he had to eat 26 meals a day in order to regain his Santa weight in time for his flight.
He hadn’t eaten 26 meals a day since he was young but if it was going to make him his jolly old self again…it was worth it.
The elves took on extra kitchen duties helping to bake the cookies and cakes and pies and making the ice cream and hot fudge and the whipped cream toppings….and well….just about everything that you aren’t supposed to eat…UNLESS you want to get fat!
Finally on the 24th of December Santa got back on his special scale and BROKE it!
What a smile Santa smiled! His belt was in the very last hole and his buttons were straining to stay closed…Santa was indeed back to his Jolly old self!
And Mrs. Claus heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight “On Dasher On Dancer…on Donner and Blitzen…let’s go get some cookies and milk!”

“Eve Dear, have you seen this year’s Christmas list? I can’t seem to locate it.”
Santa was looking in all the usual places.
“Why no Snookums, I haven’t seen it since last December”…replied Mrs. Claus.
“Well that was last year’s “GOOD” list and things may have drastically changed since then.” Santa said, while accidentally overturning the ribbon bin.
“Perhaps one of the elves has it to get a count of how many of a certain gift to make.” Mrs. Claus suggested.
“No…Elphonso would have told me…but I’ll check with him anyway.”
Santa buzzed the workshop on his special phone that was a gift from the C.E.O. of A.T.and T. who never did forget that Santa had brought him the Southern Pacific train set one Christmas when that C.E.O.’s parents were unemployed.
“Yes Boss…Elphonso here!” answered the senior elf.
Santa asked about the list but got no positive answer from the busy workshop.
“Oh my!” exclaimed Santa. “Without that list even very misbehaving children will be getting top shelf gifts and that would set a very bad precedent!”
“Maybe the children who KNEW that they were not really as good as they could have been during the year will appreciate the kindness and forgiveness if you treat them as “Good List” kids.” Mrs. Claus slyly suggested.
“Hmmm….well…it may come to that if I can’t locate my list.”
Santa resumed digging through the back of the closet under the red and white trimmed suits stored there.
It was WAY too late to compile a new list and it wouldn’t be fair to use last year’s list, so Santa just sat in his big easy chair and resigned himself that Mrs. Claus’ suggestion of gifting EVERY kid would be his decision for at least this Christmas.
And kids…that was YESTERDAY!
So…all of you kids out there that were not exactly on your best behavior this year, (and you all know who you are) will get a gift from the Jolly Old Elf this Christmas.
So my suggestion to you is to enjoy the benefits of a “Good List” kid and do your very best to earn your own way onto the list next year.
Because we all know that Santa isn’t going to lose next year’s list don’t we!