I think a girl thought up Valentine’s Day

Guys just never think that way

In school they make you celebrate

By sending heart covered cards to your classmate

Mom’s and girlfriends love to get

Gifts of candy and flowers and you can’t forget

 There’s NO excuses…just ask my Dad

If he forgot it would really be bad

He makes me remind him the week before

And he still wonders if he should’ve done more

Until Valentine’s over he stays wary

But all’s back to normal the fifteenth of February

“I’m beat!” moaned the big bass drum.
“It’s not surprising since the stick that I’m hit with is called a “beater!”
“I know…I know… I’m supposed to be….beaten, but I’m starting to not like it so much.”
Dudley the drum had to admit that he loved marching in parades and adding the “Boom” to the band but more and more he looked forward to the “after” parade rest.
He could recall when he was little, his drum parents would punish him when he did something wrong by not beating him for a week.
He had to just sit there during their jam sessions and not make a sound. He was so happy when the punishment was over and they started to lovingly beat him again.
But at his age he guessed that he had been thumped, struck, boomed or whatever verb you cared to use, thousands upon thousands of times and he just wasn’t enjoying it as much as before. What to do?
Then one afternoon he was suddenly picked up, sideways…and placed flat on the carpet in his owner’s living room right in front of the sofa.Then a vase of flowers and a candy dish were put on his “skin” and he heard them say…”Well…what do you think? COFFEE TABLE…or not?”
Dudley’s life flashed in front of him as he realized that he might possibly never be beaten again!
It seemed to Dudley like hours that he sat there and they just stared at him from various angles, “tsk”ing and pulling at their jaws…until finally the woman said…”No…I don’t think so!”
The man then said…”Yeah…I agree.”
The flowers and candy were removed and Dudley was set upright and then both of his owners hit him simultaneously with their beater.
“Ah…that feels good!” Dudley whispered and never EVER complained again!

“Gee…gnats are a gnuisance” Phil said.
Then suddenly Phil heard a very very small high pitched voice say “Gnot all Gnats are Gnot Gnice Buddy!”
Phil looked around and couldn’t see where that itsy bitsy voice came from.
“Hey…Buddy…over here…gnot over there!” A tiny Gnat was yelling at Phil.
“Oh…yes….I think I see you.”
“Well…Gnats get a bad reputation…undeserved in my humble opinion.”
“Well….what do Gnats like you do?” asked Phil.
“Ah…we can pollinate orchids.”
“We don’t have any orchids…what else?”
“Ah…we can eat very tiny pests from plants.”
“They must be REALLY tiny all right.”
“Well…yeah….but we’re here anyway so live with it…besides I think that you are being a very big pest. You humans are always swatting at us poor gnats and that’s gnot gnice.”
Then Phil asked “Why do you spell your name with a “G” anyhow?”
“‘Cause we were gnamed by the same gnut that gnamed the Gnu.”

The birthday celebration was over and Sam the Kingsnake was writing Thank You cards to all of his friends that had brought presents to his party.
He thanked Carl the Centipede for the pair of new red leather shoes even though Sam had no feet, which even a casual observer should have noticed.
Of course Carl had a hundred feet and so, he naturally fancied himself a shoe “expert”.
Then Sam wrote to Roger Raccoon to thank him for the bright red comb even though, once again, it should have been noted by all that Sam had no hair. But being as furry as Roger was, the oversight was understandable.
Sam also was left wondering what he was going to do with all the leftover raw eggs and fresh mice parts that no one seemed interested in even tasting.
Sam decided to donate the shoes and comb to charity and consume the leftovers a bit at a time until they were gone.
One present he did get excited about was the baby rattle that Blackie the crow brought. Sam was a Kingsnake and not only did he NOT possess a rattle…he wasn’t even venomous. But he had secretly admired that rattling sound that the Diamondbacks made when they needed to scare something or someone.
But perhaps the most appropriate and thoughtful of all of his presents was the jar of skin creme that Tommy Turtle gave him. It was time for Sam to shed his old skin and Tom’s gift would aid in making the shedding immeasurably more comfortable.
Yes…all in all, Sam had wonderful friends of the forest, but occasionally he did get quite lonely.
He was very tired after a long afternoon of partying and as Sam was beginning to nod off on a much needed nap, he began to pleasantly wonder if there existed a snake species known as a Queen Snake.

I am a great big Oak tree
And I’ve been here for years
The children play around me
They shout and yell their cheers

I love it when the Spring comes
And my leaves just start to pop
But my secret wish is
I wish that I could hop!

Oh I’d jump around the grassy slope
I’d run through underbrush
And sometimes I’d just walk slowly
I’d not be in a rush

I’d be careful not to step
On tiny living things
And I’d only go where I could get
My limbs through openings

But my feet are way below the ground
Attached to roots real deep
I need them all to stand so tall
Especially on a hill so steep

‘though it gets kinda boring
Always standing here
I guess it’s what I have to do
Year after year after year

I know that I will never be
Free to run around
But Gee, I’d be so happy
If I could just sit down

When she was born Silvia noticed that the color of her scales was different from those of all of her brothers and sisters. Theirs were golden scales and made them look  like golden rays of sun swimming in the large pond which Silvia knew as “home”. And most of the other older fish inhabiting the pond were various shades of yellow and gold too. Silvia was more like the color of the rocks along the sides of her home and she wished that she were a beautiful golden shade too.

Also Silvia seemed to always get blamed for any trouble that, especially her brothers, would cause. When there was a commotion, except for feeding time of course, it seemed as though every creature in the pond stared at just her!
Some of the frogs were gray and the slugs were grayish but she was a “GOLD…fish” that somehow wasn’t very gold!

Silvia tried to swim in the bright sun rays that gleamed into the pond hoping to capture the sun’s color but it just made her look  more  silvery. Silvia did notice that the other fish were sometimes confused and weren’t sure which “Gold” fish was which and called them by the wrong names. But everyone knew who Silvia was, but that didn’t make Silvia feel special. And anyhow Silvia didn’t need to feel “special” she just wanted to fit in and be one of the school.

At school one day Silvia found out that she and all her family were CARP. And then she found out that not all carp are gold. In fact, Silvia was technically a Hypopthalmichthys Molitrix or Silver Carp. Well, fish, even carp, can’t write or spell so Silvia didn’t much care what she “technically ” was. Then the rest of her school started to tell her how beautiful that her silvery color was and that they wished that they were silver too. Even the Koi started telling her how they wished that they didn’t have “all these spots all over” and admired her flawless silvery complexion.

It was then that Silvia decided that it was better to appreciate who you are, and be the best “YOU” you can be instead of wishing that you were somebody else. Quite often, that someone else, wished that they were you!

Sparky  the elf was having a nice day until Santa arrived at the workshop Santa said “It’s new year’s eve… only 51 more weeks until Christmas.”
Sparky responded, “That’s plenty of time to get ready for Christmas 2024 isn’t it Santa?”
“Not if we’re going to make toys that take 52 weeks to build!”
Well Santa was right about that, but what efficient Elf would EVER take that long to do anything?
“Snoddington the elder elf would take even longer!” Santa responded!
Sparky knew that was true, but Snoddington wasn’t due to retire until 2030.
Then Sparky had an idea. He whipped out his smart phone 3000 and called his new best Easter friend that was the very best toy wrapper EVER!.
Yep…you guessed it EB!
The Bunster showed up the very next morning with 5 million yards of Saranwrap and 50 million feet of red and green ribbon and 4 frozen jelly beans.
So no matter what you are doing this year or where you are doing it, Santa, Sparky and the Easter Bunny will be wrapping presents for December 24, 2024, except for Easter morning when EB has the day off.
The National TV network is scheduling a game show this year at the North Pole to see who can wrap presents of various and sundry sizes weights and be declared “Wrapper of The World!”
Be sure to tune in!

‘Twas the day after Christmas
And all through the store
Great lines of people
stretched out of the door

They carried those presents
Unwrapped and unwanted
That they received yesterday
They were tired but undaunted

“I want to get something
In exchange for my gift
It’s been a tiring Christmas
And I need a lift!”

“That’s not why I’m here
Oh no, no…. not me
I just love my present
But I already have three!”

“I’m bringing mine back
That I got from my Honey
It’s kinda nice
But I’d rather have money!”

“I really like my gift
In fact, I think it’s great
But it was given to me
By someone I hate!”

“I can’t wait in line
Very long in this store
I’ve got other presents
That came from five more”

“I’ve got no time for this
And it’s a heck of a trek
We had family over
And the house is a wreck!”

“I know what you mean
I’m the same way too
I’m so glad it’s over
There’s too much to do”

“Well I’m very happy
To be in this store
Because counting today
There’s 364 more…

Days until Christmas
The most it can be
And the more days there are
The happier are we!”

And there were those too,
Who were saddened a bit
They only were there
‘Cause their gifts didn’t fit!

So Santa was finished
And Christmas was done
But the post Christmas cleanup
Is surely not fun

But it is a tradition
Every year at this time
And we have to give gifts
Almost spend our last dime

But it’s good for business
So it never ends
That’s why were all here
With most of our friends

Then one tiny hand
Reached out…tugged a skirt
“God hear’s you talking
And I know it must hurt

It’s his baby’s birthday
Jesus his son
That’s why we have Christmas
‘Cause he loved everyone

For our gift He gave Jesus
To us one and all…
Our gift’s in the manger
And not in the mall!”

A gift at Christmas brings joy all around
After both getting and giving
There’s one thing I’ve found
It needn’t be perfect
It needn’t be grand
Nor be expensive
 Or be the best in the land
The truest of presents is the thought that’s behind
A gift from an unselfish heart that is kind
The REAL present is when you begin to perceive
It really IS better to give than receive

Every day without fail little Becky would walk home at the end of her day in first grade at Dillon Elementary School past Bateman’s Hardware Store on Main Street and stop and look into the front window.
Oh there were drills and table saws and levels and even red and green Christmas lights in the window but there was also, tucked into the far left corner, the most wonderful, beautiful doll in all of South Carolina standing up all alone.
It was already cold. It DOES get could in the Carolinas in December and Becky would cup her hands and lean against the thick glass and peer into the deep window and stare at “her” Dolly until the fog from her breathing clouded the view. Then she’d back away and wipe off the window with her bare hand and peer again.
She had “visited” the Doll, named by Becky as “BESS” every day of the week. By Thursday even the shop owner Mr. Bateman noticed Becky’s punctual visits and came outside to say…”Yes! She really is beautiful isn’t she?”…and stood by also admiring the Pink and white frilly dressed doll with the bluest eyes and curliest blond hair.
“She’s a beauty alright!” He would say to Becky.
Becky just nodded and quietly and softly said…”She’s the prettiest doll in the whole world!”
It was Friday. The last weekday before Christmas and after the final school day before the holidays, Becky again stopped by Batemans to visit “her” Doll.
Yes, the drills and saws and green and red lights were still there but “BESS”….WAS GONE!!!
Becky was stunned! She almost cried but then collected her emotions and thought to herself…”I….guess some lucky girl will have a most wonderful Christmas and I hope…that…Bess…is very happy in her new home.”
But as she thought those thoughts, a very small tear edged down her cheek as she slowly walked the rest of the way home.
Christmas morning didn’t quite have the same urgency for little Becky that year.
She had hung her stocking and left the cookies and milk for Santa and even given her last allowance to the Salvation Army but couldn’t completely put “Bess” out of her mind.
Becky’s Mom and Dad even had to wake her up that Christmas and invite her downstairs to see what Santa had left.
Becky wiped the sleep out of her eyes and quietly followed her joyful parents down the stairs.
Then as she focused on the beautiful Christmas tree, there, propped up on a small pillow and majestically placed in the very center was… BESS!