The cabin door opened and when I saw the bright warm sunshine glinting off of that shiny wing I flew straight out of there as fast as I could!
I had been trapped in that airplane for hours. Shouldn’t have followed that kid onto that plane in the first place, but that cheese steak sandwich smelled SO GOOD! (Never did get to land on it!)
But then, even though I was warm, I was hungry and I had no idea where I was or where to go.
Just then another fly buzzed by and I followed him until he lit on a hamburger wrapper.
“Hey ah, where am I buddy?”
“Huh…what kinda accent y’all got there anyhow?”
“Oh…well, just got off of the flight from Philly.”
“Well, there’s another one going back in an hour try to get on that one.” The new fly obviously did NOT want to be friends. But I continued: “I don’t mean to be mean, but I just got off of the flight from Philly and I can’t understand a single word they are buzzin’ here in Dallas.”
So I went into the terminal and buzzed around looking for something to eat while I waited for my next flight and I just happened onto a discarded brisket sandwich. Well, I though the Philly cheese steak was good but that brisket…WOW!
To make a long story short, I made my home in Dallas and live behind Pete’s Brisket Palace with a mess of friends and some cousins that just flew in from San Antonio.
Gotta go. Here comes young Jimmy with the trash! Yum!

The huge green bottomed and white topped cauliflower slammed the gavel as he(she?) stood behind the podium. “Everyone…PLEASE come to order…let’s get this annual conference of the Y.U.C.K.etc allegiance started.”
“You down there…Miss/Mr. Kale….please give your attention to the podium…must we have to discuss MANNERS this year as well as our annual theme TASTE?”
“Now…the reason we are all here is the undeniable fact that MOST…thankfully not ALL kids… absolutely positively HATE the way we vegetables taste!”
“Yeah!!” a brussel sprout roared from the balcony.
“Today’s agenda is a simple one…the question is How do we improve the way we taste to children? The Chairperson is now accepting suggestions from the floor.”
“Ah…Sir/Ma’am…what if we just tried to swim in lots of sauces and fool the kids?”
“You can’t easily fool kids…and we tried that two years ago and it hasn’t worked yet!”
“Ah…what about hiding under hamburgers or hot dogs or…”
“NO…they find us quickly like they’ve got radar or something…next idea.”
“Maybe we could spend money on a public relations campaign on TV kid shows.”
“Well…except for cabbage we don’t have any money…NEXT!!!”
“SUGAR!…We need sugar coatings like breakfast cereals have.”
“Hmmm…well…that might be the first suggestion reflecting serious thinking…let’s discuss this idea put forth by Mr./M’S Spinach.”
“IT WON’T WORK!”
“Who shouted that from out in the back row there?”
“Me!” The sweet potato responded. “Most kids don’t really like me and I yam the sweetest and maybe the healthiest vegetable here.”
“Ummm…good point….so …anyone else have a thought?”
Then a large brown potato spoke up…”Ah…I believe that I’m in an unusual position of being both hated and loved by kids depending on how I’m cooked. If I am french fried kids love me…otherwise I’m not very popular.”
“Good point potato…So what are we to deduce from this conference of Youngsters Unliking Cauliflower and Kale…etc.”
“That we really don’t know how to make kids love us and that we should try to hang around with adults as much as possible!”
“Resolved…Conference CONCLUDED!”

How all those animals knew when it was 8AM, let alone that fact that it was held only on Saturdays, and they all seemed to know when that was, is still a wonder to me.
That rear garden of his was hidden, not only from the street and blocked by his big white house, but the entire perimeter of the yard was completely surrounded by a privit hedge that had been there for decades and hadn’t been trimmed for nearly as long.
It was actually by chance that I managed to spy on the scene one Saturday in the Fall when I was but eight years old. I thought that I saw something shiny in the dirt under the heavy branching that covered the ground under those privits, and when I struggled to part all of the thick underbrush and lower branches, there they were!
Old Mr. Thompkins was sitting on a wooden chair in the middle of them all with a large old book opened to about halfway, reading slowly and in a gentle voice and the circle of creatures nodding and turning to look at each other from time to time.
Once every page or so there would be a burst of spontaneous applause, but since most of the audience was furried, there was no “clapping” sound like with we humans. (I assume that you readers ARE all humans….aren’t you?)
Anyhow, there was a nearly complete circle of mostly small and medium sized animals if you can picture it, in rapt attention to the reader and his story. There were rabbits, mostly grey ones, and chipmonks, which admittedly had a hard time keeping still, and of course there were a myriad of birds. I noticed that additional birds were covering low branches with their heads turned toward Mr. Thomkins, intently listening along with the audience on the ground.
There was even a box turtle, and some animal that I’m not really sure of, but looked like a groundhog.
I heard Mr. Thompkins say…”And they all lived happily ever after…and I wish that for all of you…TOO!”
There was silent applause again and then most of the animals dispersed in many directions with a Tabby cat coming up to the old man and rubbing against his leg as he stood. The cat followed Mr. Thomkins into the house so I guessed that it was his own pet but all of the other animals were naturally wild but they all sure did love hearing the old man read  to them on Saturday morning storytime.

Daytime:   Swam around to the left. Swam around to the right. Nibbled some algae off of the green rock. Swam around…(I forget which way.)

Nightime:   Swam a little. Stayed still at the bottom of the deep part of the pond.

Daytime:   Swam around to the right…BACKED UP and then swam to the left. Bumped into the shubunkin…(didn’t see him until too late)

Nightime:   Swam a little. Stayed still at the bottom of the deep part of the pond. Looking forward to Daytime.

Wally the worm’s North end was arguing with his South end about which way to go. When they both tried to go in different directions at the same time it would stretch Wally’s length almost double. It was a slimming activity but it actually hurt, plus the whole Wally wasn’t going ANYWHERE!
Then the North end of Wally decided to curve to the left and of course, the South end wanted to go…you guessed it….right!
After seven circles both ends realized that neither was getting anywhere again.
“Ok” Wally North said “How about if we go straight left for twenty seconds and then we can go straight right for twenty seconds?”
“Yeah…OK….but me first!” Demanded South.
“Whatever!” hurummphed Wally’s North end.
But after forty seconds Wally was back EXACTLY where he started.
“We’ve got to compromise if we intend to go ANYWHERE!” exclaimed North end.
“Hmmm.” Was all that South end could utter but deep inside he knew North was right.
“OK” South said reluctantly what do we do to get to the mulch pile?”
“I know the way so I’ll take the lead and you can drive the back so that we don’t get whiplash!”
Well, South had to admit that it WAS a plan and he really wanted to get to that mulch pile so he agreed.
And that’s how Wally worm, both the North AND the South of him made a straight line to the mulch pile although South end always referred to it as the “MUNCH pile” which always made North end laugh.

Freddy opened his mouth for his morning “ribbit” and absolutely nothing came out. He tried again and again but still…nothing. This had never happened before. Well he couldn’t croak when he was a tadpole, but neither could any of the other tadpoles in the pond.
If a frog can’t croak…well….he might as well be a salamander…not that there’s anything wrong with being a salamander, but Freddy had heard his father’s booming bull frog croak and wanted to be and sound just like him.
Since Freddy was a “wild” frog he wasn’t even aware that veterinarians existed. Frogs, like all animals that live in nature must deal with illness and injuries on their own. Freddy hoped that his voice would return very soon and he tried gargling stream water, but that didn’t help.
Freddie was hoping that none of his pond friends would notice his “not” croaking, but as Sammy slug slithered by he whispered ” What’s a matta…got a frog in yer throat? Hee Hee Hee…..” and he slimed on down the rock on the pond bank leaving his tell-tale track.
“Now everyone’s gonna know that I can’t croak. That Sammy is such a gossipy slug!”
But other pond residents were sympathetic to Freddy’s condition and waved their fins or shook their shells as Tommy the turtle did, but none had a solution for Freddy’s condition.
As Freddy contemplated his next attempt at a cure, an infrequent visitor to the pond a large white swan landed and glided nearby to Freddy. “Oh Miss swan do you know anything about…ah sore throats? I noticed that you have a very long neck and so at one time or another you must have….” But the swan held up a black webbed foot, shook her head, then immediately flew off dripping water as she rose into the air, circled the pond, then flew off. At first, Freddy thought that the swan’s actions were very rude, then later he found out from Mr. Mallard that she was actually a “Mute Swan,” and that explained everything!
Then Freddy thought about who would be the smartest, wisest animal he knew, and as he was wondering, he heard “WHO…Wh…WHO…”
It was the barn owl Ollie. Surely he was the smartest animal around the pond. Freddy would ask him. But wait! Owls sometimes liked to dine on reptilians, but Freddy was an amphibian wasn’t he? Just to be safe, Freddy waited until Ollie had finished his dinner or breakfast or whatever it was. You couldn’t be sure with owls, they keep such odd hours.
When Freddy was certain that Ollie was hooting an “after meal” hoot, he jumped around to get Ollie’s attention. After all, he couldn’t yell up at him. It took a while but finally, Ollie saw Freddie and swooped down and landed on the rock next to Freddy’s lily pad.
“What’s up?” asked Ollie wiping his beak off with his left talon. Freddy pointed to his throat and whispered…”I can’t croak….”
“Ummmm…have you tried gargling?”
“Yep!” whispered Freddy.
“Ummmm….well….maybe you could hop over to that house over there, and get onto the back porch. A kid lives there and he’ll want to keep you as a pet, and when he finds out that you are a frog that can’t croak, his Mom will give you human medicine and cure you. Then you can escape back here. Well…see you later!” Then the Owl flew off quickly and silently back up into his tree hollow.
“Pretty smart!” thought Freddy, but then he remembered that his Dad had told him to watch out for humans because some of them eat….Freddy didn’t even want to finish the thought about his frog legs, and decided that Ollie’s suggestion just wouldn’t do.
Freddy also tended to dismiss the suggestions of the nearby squirrels, because he thought they were nuts. A honey bee said that honey was a great treatment for a sore throat, but wasn’t about to give up any in his hive, and Freddy had no way of getting up to the nest anyway.
After about three days of inquiry and contemplation, Freddy was just about to give up and be a “mute” frog…perhaps the world’s first, when Pierre the rabbit hopped by. Freddy was about to ask him about curing laryngitis, but then realized rabbits never talked anyhow, they just wiggled their noses and ears and silence was one of their defenses to predators. Oh yes and a rabbit’s very fast legs too, let them scoot away from danger.
Freddy decided to give his throat just one last try before committing himself to a life of non-croaking, when a faint, and somewhat crackling “Ribbit” emitted from his throat. “Huh?” He tried again and as he kept trying, his voice kept getting stronger and stronger, and soon he was about 95% back to his old croaky self.
All of the other pond animals heard him. Some inhabitants of the pond were happier to hear Freddy return to his natural croaking state than others.
The mayflies, crickets and mosquitoes, were delighted to return to the pond now that they could tell exactly where Freddy was, which let them be sure that they were as far from Freddy as they could get.
“I guess sometimes you just have to let nature take its course!” said Freddy, which of course, it always does.

Little Johnny had just moved with his Mom and Dad to this wonderful house that bordered a great forested woodland. Before, Johnny’s family lived in the heart of the city. He had a lot of friends there, mostly school buddies, but it was noisy and there really wasn’t much room to play in the open. And there was the traffic too. A girl down the street had been hit by a car and although she wasn’t hurt enough to spend the night in the hospital, Johnny’s parents sought the refuge of the suburbs and “more natural and “safer” surroundings” as Johnny’s father had said.
Johnny had his own room and there was an additional “bonus” room, they called it, which Johnny used to keep all his many toys.
Johnny liked all the new stuff at their new home but mainly what he liked was the woods.
Johnny was brave for his eleven years, and even though he thought that the woods was the greatest part about his new home he did have to admit that it was pretty dark even in daytime and looked a tiny bit…well…scary.
After scouting the edge of the woods and seeing nothing unusual about the place Johnnie, one bright spring afternoon pushed through the brambles at the edge of the woods closest to his house and after twenty or so feet broke through to a clearing.The bluebirds were busy flying about and he saw three squirrels digging in the ground under a tree. He guessed they were looking for nuts or seeds or whatever squirrels eat and then suddenly Johnny froze! Not moving, not breathing, not blinking…there, not 15 feet ahead of him was a…can you believe…a baby elephant!
Johnny had seen pictures of baby elephants before and oh yeah, even live ones at the circus and the zoo, but here was a real one…five yards away!
The elephant didn’t seem to notice him or if it did, didn’t seem to care that he was there. “I wonder where its mother is. That baby seems too small to be out in the open all by itself.”
Just then the elephant turned its head backward and raised its trunk and blew a loud trumpeting. After but a few seconds, two tiny duplicates of the small elephant ran out from under a bush and huddled under the belly of the original elephant.
What? These “elephants?” seemed to be tiny little toys rather than actual living animals. Johnny rubbed his eyes, looked away and then back again, but they were still just as miniature as ever.
Johnny was sure he was not dreaming but maybe he was being fooled by someone or something. Then as he was looking around the unfamiliar woods, he spotted a six inch tall giraffe. WHAT?
What was happening? Johnny thought about running back to his house but was too intrigued to stop staring at these tiny perfect miniatures of real animals. Then something crawled across his foot. As he looked down he saw the biggest worm that he had ever seen or could even imagine! It was a foot long and thick too. It wasn’t a snake…it had that brown band around it and it dove into a hole in the ground and disappeared.
What was going on?” Johnny wondered. Just then a rhinoceros about 10 inches high sniffed at Johnny’s shoes, where the enormous worm had just crawled and then lumbered over to the worm hole and started digging into the ground with his horn.
All of a sudden there was this extremely loud buzzing that seemed to be getting closer and closer and then, whoosh…the hugest bumble bee that Johnny could have ever imagined, flew by his ear missing his earlobe by less than an inch!
Johnny then noticed the Baby, well, Mother elephant, gather up her two “babies” and hurry them off into the brush, as humongous three feet tall black ants marched through in a straight line, not looking left or right, and headed for the largest tree in the woods.
Johnny couldn’t believe his own eyes, and even ears, at what he was seeing and hearing. If he had been sleeping this would definitely qualify for a nightmare.
The odd thing, well other than all of these wrong sized animals, was that none of them seemed to even notice that he was there!
Johnny felt a little less scared when he realized that, but then thought “What if these creatures decide to notice me?”
So Johnny slowly edged toward the brambles where he had originally entered the woods. He got through safely without even a scratch and happily walked through his back garden and into the house.
“Time to wash up for dinner Johnny, your Dad will be home any minute.”
“OK Mom.” Johnny went to wash his hands and heard his Dad come in the door.
At dinner Johnny’s Dad told about a big sale that he had made and he then asked Johnny’s Mom how she liked living in their new home. She said that she was so happy living there that she didn’t even mind the house cleaning. Then his father asked Johnny…”How was your first day at our new home?”
“Oh…it was OK….would you please pass the salt Dad!”

“Ouch! Hey, watch where you’re goin’!”
“Ah…sorry…I didn’t mean to…”
“Ow! Ya got me again…what’s up with you?”
“Sorry…again…I’m tryin’ to keep my quills as flat as I can…oh my.”
Little Pauly Porcupine moved as close as he could to the carpeted wall to let the other animals pass by. It was Saturday and the ANIMALL was very crowded.
“I guess I should just stay home until I grow up more and get better control of my quills…but I DO like to be out and about especially at the Mall.”
Then as the crowd of possums, raccoons and turtles went past and there was a clear space around Pauly, he tried to step away from the wall and back into the walkway, but he couldn’t! He was stuck to the bright blue (his favorite color) wall…like…well…like velcro!
Pauly tugged and pulled trying to free himself from the thick carpeting but he was surely stuck! And the more Pauly wiggled and twisted the more stuck he became.
“Why DO they carpet walls anyway…that’s so dumb…only lizards walk on walls and they don’t even need carpets.” Pauly tried and tried but he couldn’t budge.
Then Mr. Rabbit came by…”Oh, Mr. Rabbit, can you help me…I seem to be stuck here?”
“Ah…well…yeah sure…but where do I put my paws…I mean…you’ve got all those pointy sharp needles and all…ah…sorry…I’d really LIKE to help…really!” And Mr. Bunny hopped on into the ANIMALL looking back at Pauly and shaking his head.
Then Miss Goat came up to Pauly. “Are you stuck there?”
“Oh yes…yes I am…VERY stuck, can you help pull me off of this wall…pleeeaaaase!”
“Well…I’ve only got these hoofs and I can’t grip and well…I just came from the manicurist and my nails are still wet…sorry.”
And Miss Goat clomped off into the mall not even looking back.
“Oh my…what am I to do?” moaned Pauly.
Then four crows came swaggering past Pauly. “Hey look at dat…dat dere is a livin’ sculpture…man dis mall’s got everythin’ dats why I love comin’ here right guys?”
“Yeah dats a good one Boss! Hah!” And the crows waddled on past Pauly cackling and chirping to themselves and pointing back at him with their wings.
“Oh I’ll NEVER get off this wall!” moaned Pauly.
Then, in the distance Pauly spotted a small round creature that looked very similar to Pauly…and as the animal got closer Pauly’s face brightened with a smile because headed exactly in his direction was a…porcupine!
Pauly started calling out…”Hey…ah Hi…ah…got a little problem here!”
As the stranger neared Pauly he said…”Yeah…I see…got too close to the wall huh?”
“Yeah…kinda…could you help me please?”
“Sure kid…I don’t know why they carpet walls anyhow…saves on paint I guess.”
“Yeah…gee thanks a lot…none of the other animals could or would help me…but I guess you know that …being a porcupine yourself and all.”
“Yeah…I’m used to it…Ya gotta be a loner…well except for your family of course.”
Then the stranger grabbed Pauly by the rear legs, twisted and turned and as Pauly’s back came free, the stranger lifted and twisted again and Pauly popped free of the wall!
“Oh…thank you Mister…” said Pauly counting to see if he’d lost any quills in the carpet.
“No problem…just stay away from carpeted walls…and well…other animals…people…well…you know! Why don’t you walk in the mall with me and we’ll clear out a few crowds?”
“I guess if you’re lucky enough to be born a porcupine there ARE certain advantages.”
“Yeah Kid that’s the way you gotta look at it…all us animals are created for a certain purpose and sometimes we can’t figure out why but we have to make the most of what we’ve got and just be happy with who we are…oh and we’ve also gotta stay away from carpeted walls!”

At the very end of the sentence, in fact, at the very end of the paragraph in the book “Dot”, as she was known to all of the other punctuation marks, was quietly sobbing.
The Question Mark slid over next to her and asked “What’s wrong Dot?” (He was ALWAYS asking questions!)
“I’m so…so…insignificant…unimportant…almost non-existent…period!”
Exclamation Point had overheard Dot and Question Mark’s discussion and came over to exclaim his feelings about Dot’s importance.
“Why that’s just not true Dot….you’re…well…your the MOST important of ALL of us!”
Then it seemed that the whole punctuation bunch rushed down to where all the commotion was around little Dot.
Quotation Mark seemed to be the spokesman for the group and said “Dry up those tears, Dot, you are so super-important: might I add; (and exceedingly vital) that none of us would know where to stop…I mean…do you understand?”
Then Quotation Mark asked “Did I get everyone in on that sentence?”
Dot said “You are all so kind. I’m feeling much better now …thank you…ALL!”
Then bracket ran up and skidded into Question Mark “{ ah }Am I too late?”
“Perhaps next time bracket…it’s OK pal!” Question Mark put his curved arm around bracket.
As they all went back to their proper places, Quotation Mark said quietly to himself “I hope NO one, especially Dot, noticed that I failed to use a period in that sentence!”

She was named after her Great Great Grandmother Clarissa Gwendolyn Wells. She had three ponies, two horses, ninety one dresses, her own bedroom suite with a walk-in closet and dressing room walled with mirrors, her own cell phone and her very own credit card from Nordstroms…AND…she was the unhappiest girl that she knew. In fact, that was part of the problem for this wealthy twelve year old, she hardly knew ANYONE her own age.

Her parents were THE Well’s of Wellston, Connecticut! Great great Grandmom Clarissa and Great Great Grandad Hanniford Madison Wells built the town of Wellston to house the hundreds of employees of Wells Industries, manufacturers of the finest textiles, leather goods and notions (whatever that was) in America at the time! Her house was so big that it had intercom speakers in every room, except the bathrooms of course, of which there were eight. There was a “staff” of six serving the Wells’s every need, dressed in their own special uniforms of domestic service.

“Gwen” as she liked to be called, especially liked her Nanny Adelade who was from Leicester England which inexplicably was pronounced “Lester”. The Wells family also employed Curtis the chauffeur, Edwardo the “chef” (“He’s NOT a cook Dear!” Mother said.) and Sarah the housemaid and two gardeners Ralph and James who were brothers. “Never refer to them as “servants” Dear!” her Mom cautioned. And it always seemed as though there were workers in the house doing something or other to “Improve the place!” as Daddy would say, a bit sarcastically. But with all of those people constantly filling up her house Gwen was still a very lonely girl.

Gwen wanted to get a puppy, a Golden Retriver, but her Mom said…”Oh heavens Gwendolyn no animals in the house…go ride your horse!” And every time Gwen complained to her Mom about being lonely and needing playmates, girls her own age, her Mom said…”We’ll have some sent over from town this afternoon if you really insist!” Gwen didn’t even have schoolmates because she was “Home schooled” by professors from the University at Eastport, the next town over.

Gwen did spend time on her computer with her own “Facebook” account and would often communicate with girls her own age, but as soon as they found out how wealthy her family was they usually stopped writing on her wall. Gwen thought about inventing a different identity,that of a “normal” girl, but didn’t want to lie about everything and probably couldn’t even convince anyone anyway since she didn’t have a clue as to how “normal” girls really lived!

Gwen’s Mother would occasionally ask “Why do you ALWAYS look so sad Gwendolyn Dear? You have everything that a girl your age would ever want. So brighten up! If I would have had all the privledges that you have when I was…let’s see, how old are you….twelve?….yes twelve…well, I would have been the happiest girl in the whole world!” “Yes Mother…” Gwen would answer, smiling as widely as possible and trying to look “bright”.

Gwen even thought to herself sometimes “I DO have everything…why AM I always so unhappy?” Gwen asked her home school teachers why she was so sad, but they didn’t know. She asked Adelade and she didn’t know. She didn’t ask her Mother because Gwen already knew what she would say but when Gwen asked her Dad why she was so sad he said…”Maybe it’s because you don’t have to struggle and earn what you want. You just have to ask or buy the things you want, but no one can “Buy” happiness because that only comes from inside each of us and not from what we HAVE but who we are…how we feel.”

Gwen thought about what her Father said and then asked him…”How do I get to feel better about me?”

“Well one way is to think first about others and how to make THEM happy.”

“You mean like when we give donations to the poor at the holidays?”

“Yes…but also each and every day.”

“Gosh…I’ll try. But how do I get started?”

“You already have!” And Gwen’s Dad gave her a kiss on her forehead.

After thinking and surfing the web to analyze charities and various help and care sites she decided to begin her own charity for “Lonely Girls”.

Soon she created a Chat Room and an advice and council forum and it didn’t take long before dozens and then hundreds of young girls were communicating and discussing their problems and most importantly “giving” their time and in many cases their allowances to help poor, or sick people everywhere. Her site grew and grew and soon Gwen’s generous creation was getting worldwide recognition. And the success of her efforts had nothing to do with the fact that she had a wealthy family. But the most unusual part of all concerning the success of the efforts of Gwendolyn Wells, is that no one in the whole world knew exactly who she was, because Gwen never ever used her own name.

I’m sure you would recognize the charity that she started but in order to write this story it was promised not to divulge the true identity of that great charitable endeavor, the amazing creation of maybe the Happiest girl in the world!