Kate and Shirley
Were feminine and girly
And it seemed they always agreed
Well, except for their hair
They didn’t agree there
They had different opinions indeed!

Shirley’s was curly
And Kate’s was straight
‘Though they both were pretty brunettes
Each had hair like their Mother’s
But they wanted each other’s
As opposite as it ever gets

So Kate got up early
To make her hair curly
It took hours to make it so
Each night Shirley’s up late
Making her hair straight
The process was very slow

Then it all changed
Things got rearranged
When they started dating boys
It all started with Kate’s
Redheaded boyfriend Nate
Then Shirley began making noise

Now Kate gets up later
‘Cause Nate likes her hair straighter
And she’s not at all tired anymore
And Shirley goes to bed early
Her blond boyfriend likes curly
And she’s getting more rest than before

Now the two girls agree
It’s is better to be
Whoever you naturally are
But then Shirley said
“I’d like my hair red
I would be happier by far”

Kate quite agreed
“And I think that I need
To stop being a boring brunette
I don’t want to deceive
But I must achieve
The blondest hair that I can get!”

Both their parents said “Girls
We don’t care, straight or curls
When you dyed it we weren’t even appalled
But we’re begging you
Whatever you do
Please never date anyone bald!”

“Get your heel outta my face please!”
“Hey…like I can help it or somethin’!  I got some ugly argyle toe in MY face!”
“Ah watch who yer callen ugly Laddie.”
“Yeah…well…I just want my mate…I haven’t seen Lefty in weeks.”
“Me too…it’s so nice in that sock drawer chattin’ with those other matched pairs…ah…I really  miss it.”
“The WORST are those athletic socks…they never really do get completely clean and they’re so thick and take up so much of our space here!”
Then there was a whimper and sob coming from the top of the pile.
“There there…you’ll be OK little one…we’re all here with you.”
The baby sock with it’s pink ruffle was very sad having just come from the last dryer load.
“I….I….think my match is…..ooohhhh….still in the dryer….CAUGHT!”
“Yeah…happened to golf sock over there…never did find his mate. Oh I shouldn’t have said that should I?”
“Boo Hoo…I’ll never see him again.”
“Now Now….it’ll be OK…you’ll see.
Then all of a sudden the woven basket that held them was lifted and dumped on the big bed. Then soon after, another pile of socks was thrown onto the bed.
“Hey….there’s my….HEY OVER HERE!”
Then human hands started matching up all the socks and folded and tucked the pairs together and threw them into the sock drawer. All of the socks were happy except one old striped one with a hole in the toe.”So long guys maybe I’ll see you all again soon.”
The little baby sock with the pink ruffle was still sad so the striped sock let it snuggle up as they were placed back into the woven basket.
“Maybe next time little one.” Then whispering to himself….”I HATE dryers!”

To the real, normal, everyday (boring) world, Mr.Jason Worthington seemed like a jolly mature and quite retired gentleman. Oh, he had eight wonderful Grandchildren who thought that he was silly on occasion but otherwise he was widely known as just…well, “Papa”.
But there was a well guarded secret that “Papa” kept only to himself.
Under his various colored knit Polo shirts and an occasional Tommy Bahama flowered Hawaiian style shirt he always wore the body hugging T shirt with the Purple Shield and the large golden capital “G”.
For you see, unbeknownst to his family and friends and neighbors, Papa was secretly “The Amazing Grandpaman!”
Papa read the news every morning in the local newspaper app on his iPad, and he would keep a well tuned ear as he walked his neighborhood for exercise each day, for any occurrence or injustice which he might perceive that he could either correct or at least improve by his stealthy actions.
He would of course upright fallen trash cans on collection day and pick up blowing trash along the street as he made his way through his community but he was always looking for the “Big Help” as he called it.
One gray morning in June he was walking his usual neighbohood route and suddenly saw something that made him instantly stop and dash behind the huge oak tree in front of the Chandler’s house.
A man was climbing out of the side window with a bulging sack. Papa knew that the Chandler’s were at their Daughter’s house in Ohio and so he naturally surmised that indeed…This was a job for GRANDPAMAN!
He crept behind the Chandler’s tall hedges and removed his “ELON” hooded sweatshirt (his youngest son graduated from that University) and put on his Golden mask and coiled up his rather mature body, ready to leap out and strike as the presumed burgler passed by.
And as the burgler was creeping past, Papa jumped out from behind the oak tree and tripped the perpetrator causing him to fall to the ground and drop his sack of stolen goods.
The burgler was so stunned that he stuttered “What…” and then tried to fight free of Papa’s firm grasp. But Papa also always carried a length of rope and an iPod with him on his walks and although the iPod isn’t effective at fighting crime, the rope is the perfect accessory to detain crimals…alleged criminals that is..and so Papa applied the rope using the knots he had learned in the Navy.
Papa called the police on his smart phone and after tying the culprit to the Oak tree, left his Purple and Gold calling card…”GRANDPAMAN” and then hid nearby until the police arrived and apprehended the thief and his bag of the Chandler’s possesions.
His smile was very wide and satisfying the next morning as Papa read the local news describing a “foiled burglary” but the best part for him was that he was still the unidentified “GRANDPAMAN”

(Visit sillygrandpa.com often for more of the continuing Adventures Of Grandpaman.)

“Hi! The keys on my keyboard are helping me give a shout out to you today. Normally I’m not a very popular key because you see I’m the DELETE button.”
“Oh, I do have a few close friends like the space bar (who never says much but is a great listener) and the backspace arrow, who kinda does the same job as me, so we have something in common.”
“The most popular keys like E and ENTER never want to chat. I’ve never shared a single word with CTRL…EVER.”
“I can’t actually figure out why I’m so unpopular with almost all of the other keys, after all I give them another chance to be used over again later. But I’m content with my role on the keyboard and actually I believe that I’m one of the most popular keys. Why do I think that you ask? Because my writer Russ makes so many mistakes, he actually uses me more than any other key.”
“I was going to chat longer but I’m an expert about knowing when to delete.”

Of course I can’t remember when I was just an idea in the creative brain of my author. I’m fairly certain that I am far from the first book thought that was had, but I’m grateful for the creation and pursuit.
In fact, my first memory was when I was about fifty five pages old and my protagonist had just been taken into custody by the police.
I had to keep reminding myself that I was FICTION and not to worry because there were probably hundreds more pages to go to straighten everything out.
But I DO have story friends that didn’t have hundreds of pages and wound up bound along with others of their kind into a book of many short stories. But I digress.
I’m going to let you in on a secret here, I really wasn’t fond of my main character during those early pages but I’m just the book and have no control over the story that I am forced to tell.
I must also interject here. There are good authors and some not so good authors and we books can’t choose our creators but I am fortunate because I was lucky to have been given a good one.
When I was about ninety seven pages long it seemed like ages before I turned the page onto ninety eight. But I found out later that it is not uncommon to go through that as a young book and I went through those sort of stages many times until I was finished.
As I added pages I also added many literary characters and plots and subplots and I actually got quite confused myself as to who I actually was and where I was headed.

Just between us, I had a bit of wavering faith in my author many times but always was happy that at least I was not one of those SciFi books. They never seemed quite right to me even though there are a few near me on this bookshelf so I shouldn’t make too much of it here.
Things were going along smoothly until page two hundred and
Seven, Chapter ten.
My hero, main character, protagonist… died! My author
“Killed Him Off!” I was not ready for that, I must tell you.
Of course, I found out why my author did that and it made sense to me by the end.
And by the way “The End” is just the beginning for a book. I mean it is actually when you graduate and go out into the world to entertain the readers that will hold you and caress you and yes, also sometimes dog ear you or spill coffee on your pages or worst of all, make notes in your margins!

Which brings me to the modern challenge of E Books. Well, I don’t mean to sound aloof but does anyone really think that holding an electronic device is really preferable to a hardbound book with its tactile luxury and even library aroma?
The jury is still out on that I guess and I am a bit one sided on that thinking.
But the reason I asked you to listen to my story today, other than making my case for traditional printed and bound books is that I am so proud.
I am announcing today that have a new just born, ah first printing I should say…SEQUEL!
I’m saving a place on my bookshelf for it right next to me.
So in the meantime, keep reading and going to bookstores and library’s and enjoy real books and stories just like mine!

At the very end of the sentence, in fact, at the very end of the paragraph in the book “Dot”, as she was known to all of the other punctuation marks, was quietly sobbing.
The Question Mark slid over next to her and asked “What’s wrong Dot?” (He was ALWAYS asking questions!)
“I’m so…so…insignificant…unimportant…almost non-existent…period!”
Exclamation Point had overheard Dot and Question Mark’s discussion and came over to exclaim his feelings about Dot’s importance.
“Why that’s just not true Dot….you’re…well…your the MOST important of ALL of us!”
Then it seemed that the whole punctuation bunch rushed down to where all the commotion was around little Dot.
Quotation Mark seemed to be the spokesman for the group and said “Dry up those tears, Dot, you are so super-important: might I add; (and exceedingly vital) that none of us would know where to stop…I mean…do you understand?”
Then Quotation Mark asked “Did I get everyone in on that sentence?”
Dot said “You are all so kind. I’m feeling much better now …thank you…ALL!”
Then bracket ran up and skidded into Question Mark “{ ah }Am I too late?”
“Perhaps next time bracket…it’s OK pal!” Question Mark put his curved arm around bracket.
As they all went back to their proper places, Quotation Mark said quietly to himself “I hope NO one, especially Dot, noticed that I failed to use a period in that sentence!”

I’m so glad you have a Grandpa
‘Cause they are so much fun
Just think of all the stuff you’d miss
If you never did have one

Without a Grandpa almost never saying no
There’d be no one to teach you
To “take take your time…be slow”
Just think that all those Grandpas
Once had Grandpas too

That gave them too much candy
And took them to the zoo
They all had laps and stories Grandchildren listened to
And just be there and love you… was all they had to do
Make sure to love your Grandpa and tell him and you’ll see
It will make him happy I know ’cause he is ME!

Eric Smith was smiling after his favorite teacher complimented him on his creative writing. She suggested that if he wanted to become an excellent writer, he should try to “…write every single day. Write up a storm Eric!”
Well, to Eric’s creative mind, this also meant writing a story about a storm!
As our boy was sitting at his home keyboard he started out by writing…”The sun disappeared behind a great grey cloud and within a matter of seconds, lightning began lighting up the afternoon sky above the boy’s home.”
Eric stopped typing because he heard rumbling sounds not only coming from outside but rattling the window panes.
As Eric looked outside, the sun had disappeared behind a great grey cloud and it was beginning to rain.
“NAW!” Eric thought. But then…what if…? He typed…”Suddenly the sun burst through the huge cloud and the rain stopped, the lightning stopped and of course, the thunder ceased.”
When he looked back outside the sun WAS back and the rainstorm was GONE!
“Hmmmm.” He, just like you would do, tried it again and the same result happened.
So, of course, Eric wrote of a sunny day of 72 degrees and as soon as he typed the last period he went outside to play!
When Eric woke up the next morning, it was raining and he hadn’t written “up a storm” as he did the day before.
So, the magic of “storm writing” only lasted one afternoon but it was huge fun and helped Eric Smith decide exactly what he wanted to be when he grew up…a meteorologist!

The lightning cast weird shadows on the rain streaked window in Cathy’s bedroom. She was alone until her parents would return from their community meeting in town, but after all, she was twelve years old and very mature. Cathy had been alone for short periods of time before, but the storm with all of it’s sounds of thunder made things seem, well, a bit more loud and wet and just a bit more scary! “I sure would like to have a nice cup of Mom’s hot chocolate…ummm, and maybe with some whipped cream or marshmallows!” thought Cathy. Suddenly, there was a great BOOM!! outside near the house…and then Cathy heard the creaking and cracking sound of a large tree limb. Running to her window, Cathy looked out through the rain just in time to see a great limb fall to the ground and split in two near the back fence. The lightning crashed even more loudly now and the rain was splashing at her windows as if it were trying to get into Cathy’s bedroom and drench her! Then Cathy heard a loud BAM! and all the lights went out and her clock radio started blinking “12:00” Cathy tried to switch on her lights and turn on her radio but the electricity was completely out! Cathy was trying to stay very brave and calm but the more she thought, the more she started to become just a little bit scared! Ally, the family cat was under the bed and wouldn’t come out even though Cathy called and called to her. Actually Cathy wanted to hold Ally and hug her instead of just being alone, watching and listening to the fierce storm. Cathy jumped as the phone rang and she stared at it for a couple of more rings before she picked it up and pressed “talk”. “H-Hello?” she whispered. “Cathy…Dear…it’s Mommy, are you all right?” “Oh…Hi Mom…s-sure everything’s fine

Did you know there is a breed

Of cats that have no tails?

It took a lot of research

Seeing why this trait prevails

It happened many years ago

On porches by the sea

Upon an Island known as Man

It was said to be

The people there were restful

Loved to watch the scenery

But the people were out numbered

Friendly felines seemed to be…

Always near the old folks

Taking in the view

The cats would laze along porch floors

As cats are prone to do

But it started causing problems

There was screeching everywhere

So the felines cut their tails off

To avoid those rocking chairs!