“When you get ready for a picnic there’s always so much to do!”
“I agree. There’s finding the proper location and there’s making sure that the effort will be worth it for everybody with good food.”
“And don’t forget about the weather. That’s very important. We don’t want the picnic to have to be packed up quickly and everyone scramble away.”
“Well…anything worth the effort always takes a lot of forethought.”
All agreed.
Just then “Brownie” ran into the group…”I found it the PERFECT picnic spot!”
“Oh great! Show us exactly where it is and we’ll all follow!”
Brownie led the way and then following closely behind him in a long line was the entire ant hill!

I have to go to the dentist today
And Boy, I just can’t wait
There are toys and games in the waiting room
It’s gonna be just great

They’ll be lots of other children there
Waiting for their turn
But I might just be the only one
Happy to return

I wasn’t smiling late last week
I had my back tooth drilled
And it didn’t feel much better
When I had to have it filled

But I’m looking forward to today
I’m as happy as can be
‘Cause today I’m not the patient
It’s my sister Melanie!

“Did you see that?…LOOK…he did it again!”
“What?…did I see what?…sorry I wasn’t looking just then Sam.”
“That human…there…see? Don’t tell me your eyesight is failing. All those carrots…IMPOSSIBLE!”
“Sorry Sam. What’s he doing?”
“He’s spraying something on OUR vegetable garden…THE NERVE!”
“Ah well…isn’t that HIS ..ah…garden …ah Sam?”
“Don’t get technical on me Clyde. He provides for us. Certainly WE can’t farm a garden.That’s what humans are for. That’s why God put them on earth!”
“Oh yes…well… I’m not sure the human sees it in just that way Sam.”
“Yeah. You’re probably right. They are such thick headed beings…humans.”
“Oh there he goes…now he’s getting the sprinkler, what an idiot! Doesn’t he know that’s gonna dilute the bug spray that he just sprayed on there?”
“Ah…well…isn’t that good for us Sam…that he’s washing our vegetables off?”
“Yeah…Clyde…good point! Oh …I can’t watch anymore. Let’s go over to Mr. Murphy’s garden while Dumkoff here squirts off our veggies!”
The two bunny pals hopped off behind the bramble bushes down to the next house which was 97 hops away.
“Keep your ears down Clyde. I don’t feel much like runnin’ right now…and I’m hungry. How ’bout you?”
“Yeah I could eat a whole row of lettuce…ummm yeah I could!”
When Sam and Clyde reached the edge of the Murphy garden, they looked and waited for two whole minutes…not moving.
Meanwhile, Mr. Murphy said to Marge his wife…”Look at this…there they are…see them on the edge of the garden over by the Johnson house?”
“Oh they’re so cute aren’t they? I just LOVE bunnies!” said Mrs. Murphy.
“Yeah well me too, but I do have to control how much of my garden that I let them eat. But it’s not too tough…they scare pretty easily!” commented Mr. Murphy.
After another minute or so Clyde nudged Sam…”Let’s go…nobody’s around!”
The two hungry rabbits moved into the last row of the Murphy garden where the Bibb lettuce was growing.
“Now remember Sam…just a few leaves from each head as we move along. We’ve gotta be stealthy and outsmart the old guy, otherwise he’ll get wise to our visits!”
“Gotcha!” Sam said with two green Bibb lettuce leaves already sticking out of his mouth. “Yum…I LOVE lettuce and of course carrots…oh yeah, and cabbage…and…”
“C’mon already…shut up and eat…we don’t wanna be here too long!”
The bunny buddies made their way down the row and when they got to the end…”OK…back to the hutch! Can’t take a chance of being seen. We’ll get back later for lunch.”
“Right!”
“Keep your ears down!”
“I know…I know.”
After they left, Mr. Murphy came out and walked down to the edge of his garden and looked over his Bibb lettuce.
“Amazing! Those rabbits helped themselves to my lettuce and I can’t even see any evidence that they were even here!”
Then Mr. Murphy’s neighbor Mr. Johnson called over. “Hey Ed. I saw some verment rabbits in your garden. They’ll eat every vegetable you’ve got if you let ’em!”
“Oh I don’t mind. In fact, I grow extra lettuce and carrots for ’em…Marge thinks they’re cute!”
“Man…not me! They’ll destroy the whole place if you let ’em!” grumped Mr. Johnson.
“Well…you can send them over here if you want to!” smiled Mr. Murphy.
“I’ll send ’em to bunny heaven if I ever see ’em in my garden again!” promised Mr. Johnson shaking his fist in the air.
Fortunately Clyde and Sam had not reached their hutches and heard what Mr. Johnson said and never EVER went to his garden again and lived a very long and happy vegetarian bunny life.

“Hey, watch out with those pliers bud, I ain’t stainless steel you know!”
The gold heart was being added to the other 17 charms already on the link chain. It was Valentine’s Day.
“Put me next to that gold world charm not that Scottie dog. Hey are you listening up there buddy?”
“Grrrr.”
“Ah…Hi what’s your name nice little puppy?” Heart was dangling awfully close to that ferocious canine charm and found absolutely nothing “charming” about him.
“Grrrr….KILLER! That’s me!”
Then “Heart” looked to the other side of where she was dangling and there was an Eiffel Tower that was swinging too close and then… “Ouch!”
“Hey watch your pointy top there. You can hurt someone!”
“Pardonnez Moi! C’est la vie!”
But as the bracelet, with Heart added, was gifted to the lucky Lady she singled out the new charm and rubbed the surface and said “I love it!”
Eventually, Heart made friends with the Scottie by complimenting him and Eiffel Tower taught her to speak conversational French.
Occasionally Heart would call over to the other charms across the wrist and after a fairly short time all were friends. With her change in attitude, Heart had indeed charmed them all!

Freddy opened his mouth for his morning “ribbit” and absolutely nothing came out. He tried again and again but still…nothing. This had never happened before. Well he couldn’t croak when he was a tadpole but neither could any of the other tadpoles in the pond.
If a frog can’t croak…well….he might as well be a salamander…not that there’s anything wrong with being a salamander but Freddy had heard his father’s booming bull frog croak and wanted to be and sound just like him.
Since Freddy was a “wild” frog he wasn’t even aware that veterinarians existed. Frogs, like all animals that live in nature have to deal with illness and injuries on their own. Freddy hoped that his voice would return very soon and he tried gargling stream water but that didn’t help.
Freddie was hoping that none of his pond friends would notice his “not” croaking but as Sammy slug slithered by he whispered ” What’s a matta…got a frog in yer throat? Hee Hee Hee…..” and he slimed on down the rock on the pond bank leaving his tell-tale track.
“Now everyone’s gonna know that I can’t croak. That Sammy is such a gossipy slug!”
But there were other pond residents that were sympathetic to Freddy’s condition and waved their fins or shook their shells as Tommy the turtle did but none had a solution for Freddy’s condition.
As Freddy was contemplating his next attempt at a cure an infrequent visitor to the pond a large white swan landed and glided nearby to Freddy. “Oh Miss swan do you know anything about…ah sore throats? I noticed that you have a very long neck and so at one time or another you must have….” But the swan held up a black webbed foot and shook her head and then immediately flew off dripping water as she rose into the air and circled the pond then flew off. At first Freddy thought that the swan’s actions were very rude then later he found out from Mr. Mallard that she was actually a “Mute Swan” and that explained everything!
Then Freddy thought about who would be the smartest, wisest animal that he knew and as he was wondering, he heard “WHO…Wh…WHO…”
It was the barn owl Ollie. Surely he was the smartest animal around the pond Freddy would ask him. But wait! Owls sometimes liked to dine on reptilians but Freddy was an amphibian wasn’t he? Well, just to be safe Freddy waited until Ollie had finished his dinner or breakfast or whatever it was. You couldn’t be sure with owls, they keep such odd hours.
When Freddy was certain that Ollie was hooting an “after meal” hoot he jumped around to get Ollie’s attention. After all he couldn’t yell up at him. It took a while but finally Ollie saw Freddie and swooped down and landed on the rock next to Freddy’s lily pad.
“What’s up?” asked Ollie wiping his beak off with his left talon. Freddy pointed to his throat and whispered…”I can’t croak….”
“Ummmm…have you tried gargling?”
“Yep!” whispered Freddy.
“Ummmm….well….maybe you could hop over to that house over there and get onto the back porch. A kid lives there and he’ll want to keep you as a pet and when he finds out you are a frog that can’t croak his Mom will give you human medicine and cure you. Then you can escape back here. Well…see you later!” and the Owl flew off quickly and silently back up into his tree hollow.
“Pretty smart!” thought Freddy but then he remembered that his Dad had told him to watch out for humans because some of them eat….Freddy didn’t even want to finish the thought about his frog legs and decided that Ollie’s suggestion just wouldn’t do.
Freddy also tended to dismiss the suggestions of the nearby squirrels because he thought that they were nuts. A honey bee said that honey was a great treatment for a sore throat but wasn’t about to give up any in his hive and Freddy had no way of getting up to the nest anyway.
After about three days of inquiry and contemplation Freddy was just about to give up and be a “mute” frog…perhaps the world’s first, when Pierre the rabbit hopped by. Freddy was about to ask him about curing laryngitis but then realized rabbits never talked anyhow, they just wiggled their noses and ears and silence was one of their defenses to predators. Oh yes and a rabbit’s very fast legs too, let them scoot away from danger.
Freddy decided to give his throat just one last try before committing himself to a life of non-croaking when a faint, and somewhat crackling “Ribbit” emitted from his throat. “Huh?” He tried again and as he kept trying his voice kept getting stronger and stronger and soon he was about 95% back to his old croaky self.
All of the other pond animals heard him and some inhabitants of the pond were happier to hear Freddy return to his natural croaking state than others.
The mayflys and crickets and mosquitoes were delighted to return to the pond now that they could tell exactly where Freddy was, which let them be sure that they were as very far from Freddy as they could get.
“I guess sometime you just have to let nature take it’s course!” said Freddy, which of course it always does.

“I don’t know why I sit here, hour after hour on this uncomfortable bank…wetting my line. That’s really all I’m doing! I just might be the worst fisherman EVER! It IS relaxing, actually it’s boring if truth be told. And with the cost of the rod and reel, the bait, these waders that I never use and the vest. I DO love the vest though with all the pockets and little loops for the flys, the khaki “Ernest Hemingway” look of it. He was a FISHERMAN…” THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA” , but he was more of a BILL fisherman. He’d never sit on a muddy bank like this for hours on end and then make a stop by the fish market on the way home to salvage at least SOME of his masculine dignity…no he’d NEVER do that.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“This hook is KILLIN’ me! It really hurts and it’s very restrictive too. I just KNOW I’m gonna drown! I just know it! But does HE care? NO, I DON’T THINK SO!…he just sits there all relaxed, NOT in pain…NOT drowning…and these pesky fish scare me, bumping into me with their lips, I guess they are lips. I don’t think I can take much more of this. If the idiot had just…kinda…cut me in two at least half of me could go on my merry way…BUT NO!!! He wants me to wriggle …well I’ve got news for him…I AIN’T wrigglin’. If I, perish the thought, play “dead” these stupid fish won’t even notice me and jerkface there might reel me back in and replace me with cousin Harvey… HATE that worm…and throw me away on that beautiful muddy bank. Well, that’s my plan and I’m stickin’ to it!!!”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Look at that dufus up there on the bank. What does he think…we’re STUPID or somethin’? I mean, even a smelt wouldn’t fall for that old “worm on the hook” trick. He didn’t even put the bait on properly…look you can clearly see the point stickin’ through that ugly unappealing earthworm. I mean, it practically takes your appetite away! Excuse me a second there’s a Mayfly on the surface…”GULP!”…got ‘em! Love it! Well anyhow, I think it’s an affront to all of us fish the way some of these “sport” fishermen show such utter disrespect for our intellagence don’t you Charlie…ah…Charlie? Where are you…OH NO!…Charlie…how could you???”

The cabin door opened and when I saw the bright warm sunshine glinting off of that shiny wing I flew straight out of there as fast as I could!
I had been trapped in that airplane for hours. Shouldn’t have followed that kid onto that plane in the first place but that cheese steak sandwich smelled SO GOOD! (Never did get to land on it!)
But then, even though I was warm, I was hungry and I had no idea where I was or where to go.
Just then another fly buzzed by and I followed him until he lit on a hamburger wrapper.
“Hey ah, where am I buddy?”
“Huh…what kinda accent y’all got there anyhow?”
“Oh…well, just got off of the flight from Philly.”
“Well, there’s another one going back in an hour try to get on that one.” The new fly obviously did NOT want to be friends. But he continued: “I don’t mean to be mean, but I just got off of the flight from Atlanta and I can’t understand a single word they are buzzin’ here in Dallas.”
So I went into the terminal and buzzed around looking for something to eat while I waited for my next flight and I just happened onto a discarded brisket sandwich. Well, I though the Philly cheese steak was good but that brisket…WOW!
To make a long story short I made my home in Dallas and live behind Pete’s Brisket Palace with a mess of friends and some cousins that just flew in from Fort Worth.
Gotta go. Here comes young Jimmy with the trash! Yum!

Sparky was having a nice day until Santa arrived. Santa said, “It’s new year’s eve… only 51 more weeks until Christmas.”
Sparky responded, “That’s plenty of time to get ready for Christmas 2019 isn’t it Santa?”
“Not if we’re going to make toys that take 52 weeks to build!”
Well, Santa was right about that but what efficient Elf would EVER take that long to do anything?
“Snoddington the elder elf would take even longer!” Santa responded!
Sparky knew that was true but Snoddington wasn’t due to retire until 2020.
Then Sparky had an idea. He whipped out his smartphone 3000 and called his new best friend that was the very best toy wrapper EVER!.
Yep…you guessed it Easter Bunny!
The Bunster showed up the very next morning with 5 million yards of Saranwrap and 50 million feet of red and green ribbon and 4 frozen jelly beans.
So no matter what you are doing this year or where you are doing it Santa, Sparky and the Easter Bunny will be wrapping presents for December 24, 2018 except for Easter morning when EB has the day off.
The National TV network is scheduling a game show this year at the North Pole to see who can wrap presents of various and sundry sizes and  weights and be declared “Wrapper of The World!”
Be sure to tune in!

As Santa returned from his worldwide tour
Mrs. Claus met him at the Polar front door
“You look tired my Dear more than last year
I hope all went well and I’m glad you are here!”

“May I get you some tea or a sandwich to eat?”
“No…I’m full of cookies and I’m dead on my feet!”
As Santa rested in his big easy chair
He noticed a large package…”What is that there?”

“Did I not gift some girl or some boy…
A small child that I’ve failed to bring Christmas joy?”
“No Dear…not at all!” Mrs. Claus then replied
“It was brought by someone who left it outside!”

“The tag said “To Santa…Father Christmas…St. Nick…
And whomever left it was quiet and quick!”
“Ah that I was as quiet and quick as before
I was almost seen at three houses or four!”

“Perhaps I’ve gotten too old for this task
Each Christmas I wonder…Will this be my last?”
“Well it would be nice if you were younger that’s true
In just one evening there’s so much to do.”

“But open your package….it’s your first present ever!”
“No one sends Santa a present…no never!”
Santa ripped the gift wrapping off like a child
Excitement danced in his eyes like fire wild

Then suddenly a great light shone from within
The gift was so bright it made the sun seem quite dim
And after a minute the light quickly went black
Knocking Santa over, he lay flat on his back!

“Oh my Dear are you all right?
That strange package had an unworldly light!”
Santa leaped high up…two feet off the ground
“Yes Dear I think…I think I’m all sound”

“What?…Did you see that…did you see what I did?
I jumped up off that floor like I was a…kid!”
“Oh yes Dear I saw that and you look younger too!”
“I feel full of life and…well…I feel almost new!”

And then Santa kissed her as they both shed a tear!
“I’m so excited…I can’t wait for next year!”

All of my socks are but a size two
They wouldn’t hold much so I knew what to do
I borrowed my Grandpa’s…his feet are really big
And I hope that Dear Santa doesn’t think I’m a Pig!

I hung Grandpa’s stocking by the chimney with care
If I’d hung up size two…well it wouldn’t be fair
Most kids I know hang socks that are HUGE
I hope no one thinks that I’m being a Scrooge

But I have something that I want to report
And I’ll try to make this long story short
When I woke up early last Christmas morn
Left instead of MY sock was one that was worn

It was all red and fuzzy with a tear in the toe
It looked like it had been left out in the snow
And there was a note on the table nearby
It was written by Santa and it started out “HI…

“…I hope you don’t mind and your Grandfather too
But I tore my stocking when I slipped on your roof
So I borrowed your sock to aid me tonight
To help keep my toes warm and solve my small plight”

Well I thought Santa’s sock was the best gift EVER
And I told lots of folks but…believe me?…NEVER!
But I know it’s true and it’s just like I said
It’s Santa’s real stocking and it’s really quite red!

But the neatest of all I’ve yet to tell
About three days later I heard the doorbell
It was UPS and a guy dressed in brown
“I’ve a package from the North Pole’s Lost and Found

Sign here if you want it”…and so I did
Then guess what was there when I opened the lid?
YEP! Grandpa’s stocking…as good as new
And a note from Santa that just read “Thank You!”