Now don’t get me wrong here…Santa is definately not the superstitious type. However, and I’m not sure he wants everyone to know about this: he does have one little itsy bitsy quirk about flying that he is 100% convinced brings him good luck 100% of the time.
Before I tell you all exactly what it is however, please allow me to start at the very beginning.
It was so long ago that even Santa can’t remember the year. He had rigged his first sleigh and hitched up the reindeer(with the help of the “stable Elves” which includes me, your story teller for today, Marcellus….but just call me Marc)
Mrs. Claus could sense that he was nervous and brought him a nice hot cup of Chamomile Tea with a drop of honey.
“Why thank you Eve.” Santa said to her and gave her a big hug. Santa hates Chamomile Tea by the way, but he drank it down in just three gulps smiling all the while.
Mrs. Claus walked Santa out to the sleigh and gave him a kiss on one of his apple red cheeks and wished him a good flight. And without Santa knowing it Mrs. Claus slipped something into his left outside pocket.
It wasn’t until Santa was airborne and had leveled off headed South (remember EVERYTHING is South of the North Pole)he reached into his pocket and felt a small object that he knew that he hadn’t put there.
Would you like to take a guess as to what it was?

All good guesses but actually it was a very small and very well crafted golden pair of lucky wings made secretly by the workshop elves and every year Santa makes sure that the wings are in his left pocket before he takes off to fly to your house.

Mrs. Claus was very concerned that Santa, the “Jolly Old Elf” as he is sometimes referred to, needed a bit of assistance as he became more “Old” than “Elf” but still “Jolly”.
Mrs.Claus, (her first name is “Eve” as we mentioned in a previous story) suggested that Santa hire an intern to assist with his annual duties.
Santa at first considered the idea “preposterous” but Eve saw how slowly that he climbed into and out of the sleigh and other small clues that made clear to her that Santa could use a non-Elf hand or two.
But who would be available to help Santa in the cold cold North Pole?
Perhaps a young person from Siberia or Finland or Alaska. She even considered a robot until she remembered that the elves had to keep all robot presents warm until delivery.
Plus the fact that as Santa’s assistant, the work would be a concentrated part time job which made her think of a college student that always had off of classes for the Christmas holidays.
Then there was the problem of advertising the job. There might be thousands of applicants and who would interview them and neither Eve nor Santa would want to disappoint a single one.
What to do?
Maybe the answer wasn’t hiring an intern after all but just to lighten the Christmas Eve load of gifts that Santa had to deliver.
By the way, all of this happened 20 or so years ago and we just heard about it during one of our fireside chats with the Claus’.
You all know by now what Mrs. Claus did to help Santa and he is still managing to handle his Christmas Eve duties by himself.

What? Oh yes…I didn’t actually remind you of the solution to Santa’s problem…why UPS, FedEX and all of the postal services around the world.
Have a Merry Christmas and don’t forget to check your front steps and mailboxes kids.

It was November the eleventh as I recall…or maybe it was the tenth, anyhow it was a Monday and I got a call from Santa. He was on vacation at his island house in the warm Pacific.
Oh…sorry I forgot to tell you…I’m The Easter Bunny, Eastern Cottontail specifically, but since the kids…I love kids....call me the Easter Bunny…well…I love it.
Anyhow, Santa called me. I thought it was some prankster at first…like Sammy the Squirrel, or Squeeky The Mouse, but after asking some questions I accepted that my caller was the genuine, authentic REAL Santa.
He said that he was calling a meeting of all the icons of kiddom (are there two D’s in Kiddom?) which of course included me. He wouldn’t tell me which of us he had called first,(just like Santa) and he said that he would send the sled around for me at 12:03 the next morning.
I’m not nocturnal like the Tooth Fairy, or even Santa but I agreed. So I set my alarm clock in the hutch and was showered and ready to go before Midnight.
Well, true to his word at precisely 12:03 there was a clattering of hooves and a crunch- never did find out what went “crunch”- and I popped out of the hutch and climbed aboard the sleigh.
Well…Molar The Tooth Fairy was aboard and we renewed old acquaintances.
I had run into her once at work(yes it’s a she)when Tommy Tucker couldn’t eat his supper after he bit into a roll and lost number 6 tooth (which coinciDENTly is the First Molar) on Easter Eve.
But I digress!
We exchanged stories on the ride down to Santa’s Island vacation house. Actually the Tooth Fairy is very nice even though her dress was a bit strange with all flowing ribbons and lacey trims…but actually when you think about it, the only one of us that kids actually ever see is Santa, so it doesn’t really matter what we look like or wear does it?

We arrived on the sandy beach in-between the palm trees with a perfect thirty-eight point landing. Santa was there all smiles with a cool pink frosty mug of punch in each hand and was wearing a brightly colored sport shirt and Bermuda shorts….neither of them red by the way.
Mrs. Claus was waving to us from the doorway, and we got off the sleigh, took a sip and went inside.
Santa invited us to sit at the big round table where Mrs. Claus had prepared a tropical fruit salad with extra lettuce for me.
“I thought we should have this meeting to discuss how we all might use our abilities to help kids and all folks to be even happier.” Santa said.
“I agree!” I agreed.
“We only get to “Do our Thing” once a year Santa, and Ms. Fairy only visits kids after they’ve lost a tooth.” I added…Santa nodding his beardy head in agreement.
“My point exactly Mr. Bunny!” Santa remarked.
Then Santa added “I’ll tell you a secret that only Mrs. Claus knows. Well…the Elves know too of course, can’t keep any secrets with them around.”
Ms. Fairy and I were all ears awaiting Santa’s confession. Some say I’m all ears ALL the time…but I digress again.
“During the year, when I’m not at the Pole or here on vacation, I put on my grey pinstriped suit and white shirt and navy tie and my black wingtip shoes and go down into the populated cities and towns of the real world and just kinda blend in. Act like a regular citizen don’t cha know.”
“Wow…that sounds like fun!” exclaimed Ms. Fairy.
“Yeah Santa…what a hoot!” I added.
“Anyhow…” Santa continued…”I’ll drop off a secret, very needed donation or put some money on the ground so a poor person can find it…or I’ll secretly fix something broken in the hope of making someone’s life easier and better.”
“What a nice thing to do!” Ms. Fairy and I both replied.
“Well…” Santa continued..”I think…”
But I politely stopped him and said..”I know…why don’t we all do that. Slip into the general citizenry and secretly help out and no one will ever know it was us. Then maybe it will catch on and lots and lots of folks will do good things without wanting to be thanked or rewarded.”
“You’ve got it Mr. Bunny!”
We all voted unanimously that day to start helping wherever and whenever we could without anyone knowing that it was us.
But what I haven’t told you is that the meeting that Santa called was many many years ago and you know…I think our plan is beginning to work better and better every year and…by the way…thank YOU for helping too.

Smack dab in the middle of a great green forest
Far beyond where anyone could see
Grew the tiniest smallest but surely the prettiest
Perfectly shaped evergreen tree

The big trees around him just blocked out the sun
And he could scarcely see stars when each day was done
He wanted to grow big and full like the others
He’d be eight feet tall had he had his druthers

A growing tree needs rain, air and sun
But this poor evergreen almost got none
His secret wish was one day to be
A brightly trimmed star-topped Christmas tree

But alak and alas
As the Christmas’ passed
Not one mortal soul came near him to see
What a spectacularly fine
Christmas tree he would be

It was now his third winter and with snow on his boughs
He was starting to hear some loud whooping yowls
As he glanced around, an astonishing sight
Two kids and two parents appeared in the night

“There it is! I told you…
I saw it before!”
“We just couldn’t find it
But we’ll be searching no more!”

The tree tried his best
Not to look at the axe
But if you want them to take you
You have to face facts

When the chopping was over and had NOT hurt a bit
The tree happily found that he perfectly fit…
In the bed of their pickup, an F150
On the ride home he thought “Man…this is nifty!”

What a wonderful Christmas it came to be
For the lucky family and of course, for the tree
So the littlest tree in the forest had his dreams come true
And if you’re good and patient your dreams will too!

Hi…you don’t know me because, well…that’s the way we elves like to keep it. I want to tell you a secret that Santa keeps with the utmost care…his actual Birthday.
When we asked Santa what day his Birthday was, he always told us that it was on November 39th. Well come to find out, through eons of elf research, Santa wasn’t fibbing to us. His REAL birthday is on December 9th (he won’t say what year but trust me, it was a VERY LONG time ago.) and if you count from November30th to December 9th you’ll see that he’s right.
Well this year we are throwing him a huge surprise party on November 39th and all the current and retired Elves and Ms. Claus and the Caribou (you know them as Reindeer) and a few old friends of Santa’s from when he was a young civilian are coming.
Thinking of the right gift is always difficult you know. Santa never says that he wants anything. Mrs. Claus always knits him something in his favorite color…heliotrope.
We Elves made him an electric muffler last year but it caught his beard on fire. His normally white beard did match his red suit briefly before we managed to find unfrozen water to throw on Santa to extinguish the fire but then Santa had a burnt up beard with icicles hanging down from all over it and his nose. He got a bit quiet when we all laughed out loud including Mrs. Claus and even the Caribou.
But this year we are building Santa a helium gift bag to lighten his load of toys (for GOOD little girls and boys)
We could get more done if some of the elves would stop gulping the helium and then speaking in very low bass voices causing everyone to go into hysterics!
We Elves were thinking of inviting a representative from the Good kids out there to Santa’s Birthday Party this year.
If you were chosen to attend, what gift do you think Santa would like?

Those are all good ideas and if you are selected to attend the party we’ll notify you by November 38th (that’s a Friday) no matter what, Santa will be at your place December 24th after you are asleep.
Maybe this year if you leave Santa anything that night you might want to add at the bottom of the card that says “For Santa”…”HAPPY BIRTHDAY”

This story’s about young Kris Kringle
Back in the days when he was single
In fact when he was just a boy
He’d never received a Christmas toy

He thought “What if one could give a toy
To each and every girl and boy
A special way to celebrate
The birth of Christ born on this date”

His Mom and Dad had no clue
How to do what he wanted to
“It’s a nice idea that you had son
But there’s just no way to get it done!”

And as year after year went on by
Little Kris would try and try
To find a way to make his dream
More than just a Christmas scheme

Then when he turned twenty one
A spectacular phenomenon
He acquired some land at The North Pole
The first step taken to achieve his goal

When he arrived he met an “elve”
Who introdeced Kris to another twelve
When Kris told them of his Christmas plan
All the elves shouted “Yes we can!”

The very next day outside his gate
He spotted reindeer numbering eight
Then one elf watching outside with Kris

said “Listen while I tell you this…”

“Those deer are Magic and do you know why?
They’re the only reindeer that can actually FLY!”

Back in the barn Kris had a sleigh
And he shouted “NOW there’s a way!
Hitch those reindeer to my sled”
The elf called the others and off quickly they sped

The reindeer were happy to help out the cause
And they named Kris Kringle “Santa Claus”
The elves had been busy making toys
For all the world’s GOOD little girls and boys

The reindeer practiced in wind and in snow
Testing the sleigh to see how far they could go
But one test flight they flew a bit low
The newspapers reported “A UFO!”

The first North Pole Christmas was drawing near
And Santa was ready…presents, sleigh and reindeer
Then on the night of Christmas Eve
Santa was excited and ready to leave

The reindeer pulled, running fast as they could
The sleigh was quite heavy but the liftoff was good
They had to travel thousands of miles
But they knew they would deliver thousands of smiles

Some roofs were slippery and some chimneys tight
But Santa and his reindeer worked through the night
They got back to the North Pole just as dawn broke
A very tired Santa popped open a Coke

And that’s how it started that very first year
And became the Legend that we all hold most dear

It was the fourth Thursday in November 1621 (far as we can tell) and adults and young’ns and Indian guests assembled for a hearty harvest meal.
“Aesop stop bangin’ on that thing and get in here to dinner!”
“I want drumsticks!” the little guy demanded as he dragged himself away from his musical percussion toy.
“There ain’t no gifts on Thanksgiving…shut up and eat your Turkey legs!”
As the crew sat around the hand hewn table and after barely getting a taste of the first Thanksgiving feast…
“I’m STUFFED!” a complaint sounded!
“It’s the Turkey Martha…I told you 100 degrees weren’t hot enough to cook him!”
“Best get the ones outta the fire then!” she reluctantly agreed.
“I’m outta here!” the Tom scrambled off the center of the table, leaking stuffing as he went.
“Next year better make “dressing” not stuffing in case that happens again Martha. I’m losin’ my appetite.”
“I want a new stove!” she responded.
“What time is the game?” inquired Chief Wampanoag.
“Lacrosse or soccer?”
“Let’s invent football!” Aesop suggested.
The chief said “How”(“asked” how?)… they were never sure!
“Get the pigskin and let’s kick it around”
“You can be the Chiefs, Chief and we’ll be the New England Patriots. OK!”
“As long as I’m not the Redskins I’ll play!” he answered.
The game began but the football deflated when the Patriots were on offense and Chief Wampanoag left taking his Indian corn and carrot souffle with him.
“That went well!” Said John Barleycorn as he drifted off to sleep after suffering the very first overdose of Tryptophan in history!
“Wait ’til next year!” shouted Aesop!
And we all have, for the 402 years since.

“What’s wrong Tommy?” said Henny.
Tom pointed his wing toward the side of the home tree.
“What?” asked Henny.
“The Calendar.”
“Yes it’s very nice…new isn’t ….OH….I SEE!”
“Yeah…THIS WEEK!” mumbled Tom with his beak drooped down into his floppy red wattle.
“We were fine last year…remember?” Henny reminded Tom attempting to cheer him up.
“Yeah, but I still lost two tail feathers scraping that high stone fence escaping those camouflaged humans.”
Tom was a very unhappy turkey that, try as he might, could NOT keep from staring at the calendar that had NOVEMBER 24th circled in red.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” Tom jumped at the noise.
“That was farmer Walter’s old pickup backfiring….relax Tom.” said Henny using her softest gobble.
“We should just get rid of this calendar Tom if it’s gonna trouble you so……wait…TOM…this calendar is….from last year 2016…Thanksgiving was YESTERDAY!”
Tom looked as if a huge load had been lifted from his wings and he and Henny trotted off wing in wing into farmer Walter’s garden and celebrated the day AFTER Thanksgiving by chomping on a small leftover pumpkin and wishing each other a “Happy NO Thanksgiving”.

“Don’t go up to that house Billy, there’s a ghost that lives there! Jason has saw it!” Tommy said.
“Jason has SEEN it.” corrected Billy.
“Yeah, that’s what I said!”
“Well, I’m going anyhow! Besides, it’s Halloween. Halloween is for witches and…wait for it…GHOSTS!!!”
“Well, I’m leavin’.”
“Me TOO!” both of the other boys said as they quick stepped their way down the street and away from the creepy house!
Billy had to admit, at least to himself, that it was scary, even for Halloween, but he creaked up the old splintered steps and just as he was about to push the door bell button…
“WHAT???” The door flew open and just about the oldest, grayest, staringist person he’d EVER seen yelled out at him.
He was so startled that he nearly fell off of the top porch step, but caught himself just in time to prevent falling.
After recovering his balance and a little nerve, the door was still filled with the eeriest sight his nine year old eyes had ever seen or imagined, he gathered his strength and said ..”That wasn’t very nice you know. I know that I’m supposed to respect my elders but you make it VERY difficult M’aam.”
There was just a stare back at him with steely eyes that didn’t seem to even have any white parts to them.
After just staring at each other, Billy decided to just leave…”Well, Happy Halloween M’aam.”
A pause then…”Wait.” When Billy looked back at the woman in the door he saw that tears were streaming out of both of her old tired and, he had to admit, scary eyes.
“I’m sorry. I just hate being scary and hateful. But, everybody thinks that I’m a witch or worse yet, a ghost and there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it!” She was fully crying now.
“Oh, M’aam there is always something that you can do. Besides we kids LIKE to be scared and on Halloween, well, you’re just about the scariest…” No wait, thought Billy. THAT won’t help.”
“Here, take my candy and give it out to the trick or treaters. I’ll go get more while you do that and I’ll help you give it out too if you’d like!”
“Why don’t you sit down on this porch chair M’aam.”
“I…I haven’t been outside since, this is gonna sound strange, the full moon of last Halloween.”
“You’re right…strange. But make the most of it. I’ll help you!”

Well, little Billy Smith helped the lady, who he found out was Ima Sloan, over the threshold and out onto the porch. He placed the candy into her dress lap and then went out to the curb and directed kids to “Trick Or Treat” the Scariest candy giver EVER!”
Ms. Sloan started each kid with a grumpy look then laughed out loud as she gave them the treat!
Soon there was a line forming and the candy was running out. “You each have to put a candy in and then take a candy out!”
In less than twenty minutes, the line was out on Elm Street and down the block.
A newspaper photographer who was out covering the story for the local press actually took Ms. Sloan’s and Billy’s picture and it appeared in the next morning’s edition.
Ms. Sloan was a local celebrity and so was Billy and neither one could wait for next Halloween!

Jenny could just barely remember visiting Great Uncle Jasper’s old country house when she was very small. She recalled thinking that the shabby old pile of rotting wood that was badly in need of a coat of paint was going to collapse with her inside. The pipes leaked and the floors creaked when walked upon even though she was only 6 then and not very heavy.
On overnight visits she actually would dream that ghosts flew around her bedroom, at least she was pretty sure that they were dreams.
If fact, there was really only one thing about those dreary visits that Jenny found pleasant, and that was when she would sit upon Uncle Jasper’s lap in his tatty wing chair by the fireplace and he would tell wonderful stories that were sometimes exciting, sometimes funny and sometimes were just so much fun that she just found herself smiling all story long.
Uncle Jasper was living at “Mission Valley Rest Home” now and Jenny’s parents were handling the sale of his old house. Jenny was not sad about visiting the old dilapidated house for the last time but did want to sit in the wing chair once more since it was the only place on the whole property where she had fond memories.
There it was. The chair hadn’t been moved an inch from the spot where it had always been.
Jenny decided to sit in the chair one final time to at least add one moment of pleasantness to the entire visit.
She slapped the seat and a cloud of dust rose up into the sun streaked room and Jenny held her nose and her breath until the dust storm moved away with the draft that was flowing in through the broken window.
Jenny sat in the seat being careful not to lean back or put her hands and arms onto the upholstery. She was a big girl now and her head was high enough to be at the level of the side wings of the chair.
“Go ahead…sit back…relax and I’ll tell you a story just like I used to tell your Great Uncle Jasper.”
WHAT????
Jenny was frightened at first as she realized that it was actually the old chair “talking” to her. She looked around to make sure that it wasn’t some electronic joke that her Mom and Dad were playing on her…but there were no speakers, no electricity and no wifi…nothing! AND, the chair knew things that no one else but her and Uncle Jasper knew.
She sat back and finally relaxed and listened to a story about a little girl that became the most famous writer of children’s stories in the world.
“Jenny…..Jenny…..JENNY!…we’re ready to go Dear.” It was Jenny’s Dad’s voice breaking through her story concentration.
“Ah….well….OK Dad….but I want to keep this chair please….there were so many happy memories of Uncle Jasper when I used to sit in it with him.”
“I don’t think so Jenny….it’s so….”
“We ….I….could clean it up and put it in my room and…”
Jenny’s Mom and Dad just looked at each other. Then Jenny’s Mom said….”Well….I…”
“THANK YOU….Thank You both SOOOOOOO much.”
The ride back home to Jenny’s house had one added passenger strapped onto the pickup truck bed and when Jenny finally got the chair situated in her bedroom corner, she sat down and the chair told her a story about a very scared Story Chair that was taken on a wild ride in a Ford 150.