I was sitting at the edge of my garden, freshly weeded, recently watered, my still moist and glistening garden, when a voice in a very mild baritone said…”Nice garden, but it needs…more edibles, you know, vegitables…carrots and stuff!”
I looked around and there was no one there, as usual. I’m nearly always alone doing my gardening tasks. I looked again, scanning the dead leaves to the back, got to get to those …ah…tomorrow…but nothing…not even the usual birds were around the feeders. Age has its drawbacks, though it does provide a retiring way of life, still, there are moments when you’d trade for a, shall we call it, a sprightlier sensory system. This might have been one of those moments.
“Hey Bud…I’m talking to you!”
Not so rich and gentle a baritone this time, a bit, well…impudent sounding voice in my estimation. Scanning the entire garden…still nothing…then, I saw a slight movement of…the Irises, near the eastern edge…no…wait…there were…EARS…shaped like Irises but, grayish…and…if you can believe…FURRY!”
I looked around hoping none of my neighbors were watching my mental deterioration…I thought it happened slowly, over time, progressive…not all at once like this…
“HEY BUDDY!!!”
Then his head, an unusually large head, olive shaped eyes looking, unblinkingly straight at mine, this was the largest rabbit, or hare or whatever, I’d ever seen…or even heard about…well, except for Harvey, but of course he was imagin…I managed a weak, non baritoned”….hello….”
“That’s better….we animals HATE to be ignored…of course we hate to be chased, hunted, poisoned…well, you get the picture!”
“Ah…yes…well…I’d never really thought about it, ah, from YOUR angle I mean.”
“Yeah well, you’re hard to understand too…so I’ll give you that one . Anyhow, we’re gettin’ off of the subject…your garden….VEGITABLES!”
“Yes…and by the way…it’s spelled with three “E’s” no “I’s”…you missed one in the first paragraph too!”
“Did I…sorry! So how about it?”
“Well you know there’s not a lot of sun in the…MY….garden…so many trees.”
“You’ve got sun over there!” He pointed with his left ear.
“I…didn’t know you could do that!”
“Oh…point my ears?…That’s basic stuff! Did you know that we rabbits can SCREAM? ‘Though
we hate to do that, I mean REALLY hate to do that!”
“Yes actually I DID know that…but…I didn’t know you could talk…converse.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know buddy. I could tell you things about us that would curl your hare…get it? …HARE?”
He was chuckling now. “I kill myself when I do that….oops….wrong turn of phrase there!”
“Well I could TRY to help out with your…situation…I guess.”
“When? It takes at least four weeks to grow decent veg-E-tables!”
“You wouldn’t want me to tear up my beautiful grass would you?”
“Oh we eat grass too, although I like it a bit longer and for heaven’s sake, keep those “Chem Lawn” guys away…we can’t eat it for DAYS after they’ve been here!”
“Why don’t you just go to another garden…a VEGETABLE garden? I’m certain many of my neighbors have them.”
“Because you don’t have any cats…yuck!…or dogs…double yuck!!…and most of your neighbors do.”
“How about if I go to the market and buy you some carrots and bring them back and put them on the edge of the garden there for you?”
“Naw…not fresh…they lose a certain…piquancy….did you spell that right?”
“Yeah…I think so.”
“Good you’re learnin’…anyhow, I’ll give you two days to come up with a solution, otherwise I’ll come back and eat…EVERY flower in your garden…even though I hate the taste of most of those things you’re growin’ here…but I’ll do it!!!”
“I don’t see how I can….” But he was gone! The Irises rustling a bit… but… no sign of him ever being there.

(To be continued)