“OK all of you…pay attention. No…no…no, you Dachshunds and Corgis and Chihuahuwas get up in the front row. I’m an AKC registered English Bulldog. And the first of you mutts that makes a crack about my accent is gonna REGRET IT! Now, you’re gonna get your barking orders that you will keep and obey forever.”

“Hey! You two Great Danes back there…KNOCK it off!”

“There are four types of barking that will be assigned today: The “Ruff” the “Yap” and the “Bow Wow,” and of course there is the most common, the just plain “Bark” which is not only onomatopoeia, but also a noun, but you’ll get that lesson later on in the camp when we discuss words and commands that you can ignore.”

Now you MUST only adhere to your assigned type or if you are caught using any other type, you will be severly punished by the removal of your bark capabilities. If you don’t believe me, just ask ANY Basenji!

“OK This entire front row is assigned the “Yap! Let’s hear it when I give the signal….WHAT? You got a question?”

The Corgi timidly asked “Are there any restrictions on loudness or repitition?”

“Hmmm. That is actually a good question for once! No! Loud and long and strong!”

“OK….GO!”

There was the loudest longest and strongest yapping of any prior Boot class!

“You blokes are gonna bring me a lot of glory out there! OK you second row, you medium dogs You get the “Ruff” which is quite often doubled to “Ruff Ruff!” Let’s hear it!

A cacophony of RUFFS rang through the barricks rafters.

“Now third row, you large dogs you get a deep “Bow Wow”…let’s hear it!’

The Bulldog Sargent had to cover his ears.

“That was wonderful! And the rest of you mongrels just get to “Bark”…GO!”

There was a lot of ill timed and mixed good and bad Barks which left the Bulldog shaking his head.

“Oh that was terrible, but I didm’t expect much anyhow. OK! I want you all to go out to the fence that runs along the camp’s perimeter next to the housing development and practice until you are hoarse.”

“DISSSSSSMISSSSED!”