Henry didn’t like being referred to as the “dummy”. Well, no one does do they? But he did have a job with Yuley Simmons, the talented ventriloquist from Las Vegas.

Although Henry couldn’t move his own arms or legs, or head and especially not his own mouth, Yuley was very adept at manipulating Henry so that the audience actually thought that Henry was alive and could talk.
When Henry’s lips were moving, Yuley’s weren’t, and that is the essence of ventriloquism isn’t it?
Henry would sit in a large box backstage between shows with nothing to do. There were no lines to memorize and he didn’t have to worry about sleeping through a show. Yuley always got him at just the right time and directed all of Henry’s moving parts when they were on stage. Henry didn’t even mind the spotlights shining directly into his eyes since his head was made out of wood!
But one afternoon in July, Henry was thinking about his right hand and it began to move. He looked down and found that he could lift it up and lower it. Then he moved his left hand, then his head and finally his mouth and he said “Wow!” in his OWN VOICE!
“Wait until Yuley finds out about this!” he thought.
But wait! If Henry didn’t tell Yuley about his newly discovered abilities, Henry could exert some control over what Yuley was trying to make Henry do and say.
Henry recalled that there was a yellow and black book in the dressing room titled “VENTRILOQUISM FOR DUMMIES” and with Henry’s new ability to do so, he opened the lid of his box and grabbed the book and read it clear through!
“So THAT’S how it’s done!” Henry was amazed and empowered by his new knowledge.
The very next show when Yuley thought that he was speaking and moving for Henry, Henry said…”Wait! I’m NOT a DUMMY…maybe you are!” And Henry turned his head and lifted his arm and pointed to Yuley!
The crowd loved it and laughed and some shouted “Yeah! You go Henry. You tell him!”
“What are you doing?” whispered Yuley.
“I’m claiming equality in the act Yuley.” Henry whispered back, without moving his lips by the way!
Yuley could do nothing but smile at the audience.
“Move your mouth.” Henry demanded and Yuley did so.”
Then Henry shouted “Now which one is the dummy now?”…and the audience went wild.
“Take a drink of water.” Henry told Yuley.
As Yuley drank, Henry recited “Mary Had A Little Lamb!”
The crowd went crazy again.
It’s been a while since that first show when Yuley became the “Dummy” and now Henry has his own five bedroom home with swimming pool and drives a new Porsche.
The marquee outside of the Las Vegas showroom reads “Henry and his Dummy Yuley!…appearing nightly.”

Once upon a time there was a clock named Saul
He was the type of clock that hung on the wall
Well he could see very well all that went on
But he’d have rather been a watch since the second he was born

He always knew what time it was and was never slow or fast
But he had dreams of a better life as the time passed and passed
He dearly loved the Spring because springing ahead was fun
But he dreaded the Fall ’cause turning back hurt his hands some

He wanted a chime or at least a bell
Or maybe a voice so the time he could tell
But it seemed no one cared that he couldn’t speak
When they looked for the time…they just took a peek

“What if I stopped running maybe then they would stare
And they’d take me down and fix me with care
But then what if they didn’t and just threw me out
You shouldn’t do things if you have any doubt”

“So I guess it’s time to be thankful and happy I’m here
And look forward to timekeeping …year after year
I’m so glad we talked and had this little chat
If I weren’t a wall clock…I’d wish to be that!”

“Gee…gnats are a gnuisance” Phil said.
Then suddenly Phil heard a very very small high pitched voice say “Gnot all Gnats are Gnot Gnice Buddy!”
Phil looked around and couldn’t see where that itsy bitsy voice came from.
“Hey…Buddy…over here…gnot over there!” A tiny Gnat was yelling at Phil.
“Oh…yes….I think I see you.”
“Well…Gnats get a bad reputation…undeserved in my humble opinion.”
“Well….what do Gnats like you do?” asked Phil.
“Ah…we can pollinate orchids.”
“We don’t have any orchids…what else?”
“Ah…we can eat very tiny pests from plants.”
“They must be REALLY tiny all right.”
“Well…yeah….but we’re here anyway so live with it…besides I think that you are being a very big pest. You humans are always swatting at us poor gnats and that’s gnot gnice.”
Then Phil asked “Why do you spell your name with a “G” anyhow?”
“‘Cause we were gnamed by the same gnut that gnamed the Gnu!”

He was the last puppy in the litter. The one that nobody seemed to want.
He had the same big eyes as all of his brothers and sisters and his fur was just as solid black as all the others…but…he WAS much smaller, and thinner and he had to admit…weaker than his siblings. Yes…he was the “runt” of the litter.
It seemed that no one would ever want to adopt Runty and his human family had even stopped advertising and had taken down the sign that offered “Genuine Scottie Puppies!” from their front window.
Then one rainy morning a knock on the door was to change Runty’s life forever.
“Hello…I’m Mrs. Wilson. My son Todd has been very sick for a long time and our family decided that a new puppy might help him to feel better. Do you still have any puppies left?”
“Well…there’s just one…but I’m afraid it’s the runt of the litter…in fact we named him “Runty”.
“Ohhh…” Mrs. Wilson exclaimed as Runty had run to the door and was jumping up and down around her feet.
“My…he’s lively….and he’s REALLY cute isn’t he?” Mrs. Wilson bent down and patted Runty on his head.
“Would you like to come home with me…ah….Runty?”
Runty let out a short sharp bark and began licking Mrs. Wilson’s hand.
So Runty was adopted and went home with Mrs. Wilson where he met for the first time…little Jimmy Wilson.
Jimmy was in his sick bed but leaned down and helped Runty jump up onto the covers. Jimmy smiled and petted Runty and the Scottie rolled over and nuzzled the boy’s hand and licked his fingers.
Then Jimmy sat up and placed the pillows behind his back and Runty climbed into the boy’s lap. It was the first time that the boy had sat up in bed in more than a week. Jimmy’s Mom stood in the bedroom doorway and smiled wider than she had in a very long time.
As the weeks passed Jimmy grew healthier and Runty grew bigger and stronger too. It wasn’t long before they were going for walks around the neighborhood and soon Jimmy was well enough to resume attending Parks Middle School.
Two months later Jimmy’s school held a dog show. Jimmy brushed and trimmed Runty’s fur and taught him how to “heel” which is when Runty walks along at the same speed as Jimmy staying exactly at the boy’s heel.
Well…Runty won “Best in Show” and sported a bright blue and gold ribbon on his collar!
Oh…and just for the record…Two of Runty’s siblings were in the show too but it was Runty that everyone voted for.

Grandpa Sanders was looking high and low. Into every drawer and into every closet and even into every mirror although his grandson Mark didn’t know what his Grandpa was searching so much for, especially in mirrors.
“Ah Papa…what are you trying to find?”
“Oh….I’m looking for something that I think I lost and can’t seem to locate.”
“Maybe I can help Papa.”
“Naw…I don’t believe so. It’s all up to me and me alone to find it.”
“Well…what is it Papa? Is it a book or a piece of jewelry…or a key…yeah…you are always losing your keys.”
“No…not those things. I lost something that you should never ever lose. Something you need everyday no matter how old you get to be.”
Mark was searching around under chairs and behind cabinets but admitted he actually was just trying to be helpful and had no clue as to what his grandpa had lost.
Then Grandpa Sanders stopped and squatted down and spoke directly at Mark.
“You’ve still got it and I want you to promise me you’ll never lose it no matter what!”
“Ah…well OK Grandpa…but it would help a whole lot to know what it is that I should never lose.”
“The “KID” in you. Even after you grow up and be a man and even when you get to be as old as me…always keep that kid that you are today inside of you.”
“Well…I think I kinda see what you mean Grandpa.”
Then Mark started to think and then a huge smile lit up Mark’s formerly sad face and he took his Papa’s hand.
“C’mon Grandpa…I think I know where you can find it again.”
Mark led Grandpa Sanders outside into the backyard and onto the playground filled with swings and a sliding board.
His Papa started to smile and run, not too fast, but still running, straight for the sliding board, climbed to the top and as he whooshed down the slide yelled out an unmistakable “WHEEEE!” and just about at the middle of the slide, Mark’s Grandpa found his lost “KID”.

Jibber, Jabber, Jibber
Is how it sounds to you
But just between us babies
It’s “Hey there Bud what’s new?”
You see we have a language
We infants fresh as dew
But we only use it when we see
Other babes who see us too

And we don’t like huge bulging heads
That suddenly appear
Staring down upon us
Too big and way too near
And what’s that you are saying?
Sounds faintly like some words we use
We like your smiles and funny face
But what’s with those “Goo Goo’s”?

It’s easy chatting babies up
We’re a friendly bunch
The only time we’ll stop our talking
Is when it’s time for lunch!
But the real tough thing for us is
Right before we’re two
We must learn a whole new language
Just to talk to you!

“Hey, watch out with those pliers bud, I ain’t stainless steel you know!”
The gold heart was being added to the other 17 charms already on the link chain. It was Valentine’s Day.
“Put me next to that gold world charm not that Scottie dog. Hey are you listening up there buddy?”
“Grrrr.”
“Ah…Hi what’s your name nice little puppy?” Heart was dangling awfully close to that ferocious canine charm and found absolutely nothing “charming” about him.
“Grrrr….KILLER! That’s me!”
Then “Heart” looked to the other side of where she was dangling and there was an Eiffel Tower that was swinging too close and then… “Ouch!”
“Hey watch your pointy top there. You can hurt someone!”
“Pardonnez Moi! C’est la vie!”
But as the bracelet, with Heart added, was gifted to the lucky Lady she singled out the new charm and rubbed the surface and said “I love it!”
Eventually, Heart made friends with the Scottie by complimenting him and Eiffel Tower taught her to speak conversational French.
Occasionally Heart would call over to the other charms across the wrist and after a fairly short time all were friends. With her change in attitude, Heart had indeed charmed them all!

“Hey Drew…hurry up….you’re late this morning.” A muffled but distinctly gruff voice emanated from the blank page on cartoonist Drew Daniels drawing board.
Drew looked around but there wasn’t anyone else in his studio and indeed it was earlier than he usually started to draw his syndicated daily cartoon column of a dachshund that always seemed to be too short too long and in too much trouble!
Drew took a sip of his morning coffee and as he put the very first line down on the white paper with his black inked pen, the line began to move all on its own. Drew was startled! This had NEVER happened before…and how could it? It was IMPOSSIBLE!!! Wasn’t it?
“Listen Mister Smarty Pants artist…I want bigger frames…or at least wider ones…I’m too cramped in these skimpy ones you do!”
“Ah…D…Doodley?”
“Yeah who else…you really have limited talent you know. I always look the same, act the same…do the same stupid stuff…and I’m gettin’ sick of it!”
The line had magically and mysteriously continued to draw itself until the Doodley character was way too large and pushing his two-dimensional snout right up off the paper and yelling at Drew even without the customary word “balloon”!
“I…ah…..I don’t have to listen to you….I can rip the page right off of the board and crumple it up and throw it into the trash….or….even BURN IT!!!” said Drew defiantly.
“Ah….not so hasty Drew….I…..was perhaps a bit too coarse in our discussion of my rights as a famous, well….semi-famous cartoon!”
“That’s better. But you must know Doodley that there are strict sizes for frames and length of cartoons set by the papers….so I just can’t draw anything, any size, anyway…I want to.”
“Well….I’ve seen double wide frames on even some of the most famous cartoon strips. I look around you know….at the competition as it were….I don’t just sit there dead still on the comics page. I have my pride.”
“Part of your…ah….charm to readers is that you ARE long and short and seem to be tightly fitted in the frame. That’s part of the fun Doodley.”
“Not for me Pal.” Doodley’s outline had gotten smaller as he calmed down and he was almost back to normal size.
“You are just going through a bit of a time when you aren’t happy right now but perhaps I can fix that. Tell you what….let me draw today’s strip with a new idea that I just had and I bet you’ll be fine with it. But you’ve gotta promise me….NO MORE jumping out of the pages….EVER AGAIN.”
“Well….we have been together for a long time ….so I promise….but ONLY if I’m happy about it!” Doodley said, now completely back to normal size.
Drew finished the strip and in the last frame was Doodley smiling bigger than he’d ever smiled….standing right next to his new very feminine cute companion with the yellow bow “Doodles.”

The birthday celebration was over and Sam the Kingsnake was writing Thank You cards to all of his friends that had brought presents to his party.

He thanked Carl the Centipede for the pair of new red leather shoes even though Sam had no feet, which even a casual observer should have noticed.

Of course, Carl had a hundred feet and so, he naturally fancied himself a shoe “expert”.

Then Sam wrote to Roger Raccoon to thank him for the bright red comb even though, once again, it should have been noted by all that Sam had no hair. But being as furry as Roger was, the oversight was understandable.

Sam also was left wondering what he was going to do with all the leftover raw eggs and fresh mice parts that no one seemed interested in even tasting.

Sam decided to donate the shoes and comb to charity and consume the leftovers a bit at a time until they were gone.

One present he did get excited about was the baby rattle that Blackie the crow brought. Sam was a Kingsnake and not only did he NOT posess a rattle…he wasn’t even venomous. But he had secretly admired that rattling sound that the Diamondbacks made when they needed to scare something or someone.

But perhaps the most appropriate and thoughtful of all of his presents was the jar of skin creme that Tommy Turtle gave him. It was time for Sam to shed his old skin and Tom’s gift would aid in making the shedding immeasurably more comfortable.

Yes…all in all, Sam had wonderful friends of the forest, but occasionally he did get quite lonely.

He was very tired after a long afternoon of partying and as Sam was beginning to nod off on a much-needed nap, he began to pleasantly wonder if there existed a snake species known as a Queen Snake.

“George!”
“Abe!…ah….6042A….I don’t think we’ve ever met before.”
“No…3088D..I don’t believe so.”
“George….how did you get that notch there near the corner?”
“Oh, that….yeah….zipper nipped me as she pulled me out to pay for a balloon at the Dollar Store. LOVE THAT PLACE.”
“Zippers…yeah….why can’t humans stick to the soft old folding wallets?”

“Progress…I guess. I hate those vending machines too, though I will admit they do help with the wrinkles you know!”

“By the way, I saw dozens of new Franklins last week when I passed through the First National Bank. I kinda like the older versions of those bills that look more like us don’t you?”
“Ah…progress again….but yes we’re more…classic…traditional…Abe.”

“By the way…I don’t really like going through the Federal Banks. I’m always nervous that they’ll examine me and decide that I’m too worn to stay in circulation.”
“Oh you’ve got a long time before …ah….I hate to say it….but you know….the SHREDDING!”
“Let’s change the subject Abe…oh wait is she gonna?…..yep….well…see you again I hope!”
“You’re gonna be with lots of friends here at the Dollar Store….see ya! George.”

“Gosh it’s lonely in here now that George is gone. I hope we go to the supermarket. I love being in those cash trays with lots of other Lincolns.”
Then a new voice yelled out….”Hey….you’re puttin’ me in the wrong….oh no…..”
“What are you doing in here? You don’t belong here this compartment is just for bills, legal tender, CASH!”
“Listen, I don’t like it any more than you do Lincoln….Might as well make the best of it….I’m Visa but you can just call me “VEE”!