If you recall the story “Young Santa” you know how Santa first met his amazing Reindeer but I don’t think that I ever told you how they got their individual names.

It became a distinct necessity when Santa first hitched them all up to the sleigh and then tried to direct them. “You there second from front left…pull a bit right!”

Well…as you might imagine, it caused some confusion and delay since the reindeer were all counting rows and lefts and rights to figure out which one of them Santa was actually directing. This could never be when flying and especially landing on tight and may I add slippery rooftops at night.

So Santa decided that each reindeer needed an individual name. He lined them all up in the barn and interviewed each reindeer to determine their individual personalities in order to give them an appropriate name.

First was the most muscular and actually slightly largest reindeer that Santa wanted on the first row right. Since Santa was right handed he preferred to make right turns whenever possible.
“Let’s see. What do you like to do in your spare time?”…he asked the first reindeer.

“Well…I like to run fast whenever I can…if I were a human I’d be a sprinter.”
“Well…then I’ll call you sprinter!” decided Santa.
“Ah…Santa…that sounds like “splinter”…I HATE splinters.”
“All right…let’s see…how about DASHER?”

“LOVE IT!”
“Dasher it is. Next!”
Well the next reindeer clicked his heels…ah hooves….since he was so glad that it was his turn.

He could hardly stand still waiting for Santa to suggest his name.
Then Santa said…”My…my….you’ll have to stand still and stop dancing around so that I can decide what name is best for you.”
“That’s IT! Thank you Santa I love it!”
“Ah… Love What?” inquired Santa.
“Dancer…I’m DANCER!”

“OK….then …I…guess….who’s next?”
“Oh…Gee….I wanted to be Dancer….I love dancing and prancing around…I do it all the time…almost.”
“Great….then you will be PRANCER! How’s that?”
“Perfect! Thanks Santa.”

“OK….you there…”
Then a shy somewhat smaller and a bit prettier reindeer stepped to the front and in a gentle voice asked “ME?”
“I have the right name for you since you are female how about…VIXEN?”
“Hmmm…a female fox is named that…and they are very cute…OK thank you Santa.”

“OK….and…”
Suddenly a reindeer instantly appeared right in front of Santa in a flash.
“Wow…you are quick as a flash…you should be named….something quick and flashy…COMET! How’s that?”
“Yes…yes…yes…COMET…that’s me!”

“Hey this is going pretty well” said Santa complimenting himself.
Then Santa realized that he shouldn’t have been so quick to brag, which as we all know is not a good thing to do anyway, because he had a very difficult time with the very next Reindeer.
He didn’t have any hobbies and none of his personal skills suggested a name. Santa even asked for suggestions from the named and as yet un-named reindeer and nothing seemed to fit.

Santa thought and thought…”Ah…when were you born?”
“Ah…two winters ago.”
“No I mean what date!”
“On February 14th Santa.”
“That’s it…you will be…CUPID!”
“Cupid…yeah…I like it!”

“Next! You will be in the last row on the left…right in front of me. But I think that I am running out of names. By the way…who else is left.”
“I am Sir…me and one other… OH….and that strange nosed reindeer out there under the tree.”

“Well…I’ve only got to name you two today…any ideas?”
“The next to last reindeer said …”When I was a baby…I would run so fast even Mom couldn’t catch me and she said that I “Ran like Lightning!”

“PERFECT” exclaimed Santa…you are Blitzen…that’s a Germanic word for Lightning.
Then Santa turned to the very last reindeer…”So little fellow I guess that makes you Donner the Germanic word for Thunder. But Mrs. Claus HATES thunder so we’ll make you DONDER and she won’t even know that we have a little secret about “Thunder and lightning” so you will be to the left of Blitzen in the last row right in front of me.”

Then Santa stood up tall and said…”ATTENTION REINDEER….TO YOUR POSITIONS ON THE DOUBLE!”
And after some jostling about… there was Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen…Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen all in their proper position and enjoying every moment.

Then Santa turned and whistled loudly toward the open field to the reindeer under the tree.
“RUDOLPH…come over here and join us at the front…and light up that headlight nose of yours!

Rudolph galloped over realizing not only was he NOT left out but actually would be the leader of all the reindeer in the very front of Santa’s sleigh!

But Rudolph did wonder where Santa came up with that name!

Santa was busily delivering his Christmas bounty of gifts to GOOD little girls and boys when, instead of going on to the Smith’s house, next on his list, he circled around the Jones’ roof where he had just been because Santa thought that he had forgotten to leave the red bike with training wheels that Tommy had asked for.
Santa saw his own footprints in the snow but he also spotted a small person with a bag similar to his and the person was wearing a mask!
“What’s this?” exclaimed Santa. “This person is following me and I do believe that they may be taking the gifts that I’m leaving and that makes Santa very angry.”
Santa hovered the sleigh and commanded the reindeer to be very quiet as he watched to see the “bandit” emerge from the chimney, looking all around to see if they were being watched.
But they didn’t look up into the sky where Santa was hovering and that’s when Santa swooped in to land right in front of the “bandit” trapping them between the sled and the Jones’ chimney.
“SO!” Santa yelled, startling the person.
“Exactly WHAT are you doing following me and raiding the houses that I’ve gifted?”
“I…well…I…just…” the would be “Bandit” took off their mask as they spoke, and lo and behold it was a rather young woman who was speaking to Santa.
” I…was…just delivering these gift certificates to each house that you visit in this neighborhood. I figured that if you visit a home there must be good and deserving kids living there and I wanted to make sure these worthy families received the food vouchers so that they can have an even better Christmas.”
“Well…I’m amazed young lady, but why are you wearing the mask when you are doing such a noble deed?”
“I didn’t want anyone to know that I left the certificates and not Santa…well…you, Sir.”
“Hmmm…I see…I think. That’s a wonderful and generous thing that you’re doing but I don’t think that I should be given credit for something that you did.. But…tell you what! Why don’t you ride along with me from here on until you finish your generous giving?”
“Oh Santa, that would be wonderful!”
“And by the way, I recall leaving you that “Raggedy Ann” doll back a few years ago. You were a mostly good little girl “SARAH”, and you sure have become a fine young woman!”
And Sarah and Santa and the nine reindeer flew off to finish the Christmas Eve giving that is the true spirit that everyone should cherish and continue forever.

As Santa returned from his worldwide tour
Mrs. Claus met him at the Polar front door
“You look tired my Dear more than last year
I hope all went well and I’m glad you are here!”

“May I get you some tea or a sandwich to eat?”
“No…I’m full of cookies and I’m dead on my feet!”
As Santa rested in his big easy chair
He noticed a large package…”What is that there?”

“Did I not gift some girl or some boy…
A small child that I’ve failed to bring Christmas joy?”
“No Dear…not at all!” Mrs. Claus then replied
“It was brought by someone who left it outside!”

“The tag said “To Santa…Father Christmas…St. Nick…
And whomever left it was quiet and quick!”
“Ah that I was as quiet and quick as before
I was almost seen at three houses or four!”

“Perhaps I’ve gotten too old for this task
Each Christmas I wonder…Will this be my last?”
“Well it would be nice if you were younger that’s true
In just one evening there’s so much to do.”

“But open your package….it’s your first present ever!”
“No one sends Santa a present…no never!”
Santa ripped the gift wrapping off like a child
Excitement danced in his eyes like fire wild

Then suddenly a great light shone from within
The gift was so bright it made the sun seem quite dim
And after a minute the light quickly went black
Knocking Santa over, he lay flat on his back!

“Oh my Dear are you all right?
That strange package had an unworldly light!”
Santa leaped high up…two feet off the ground
“Yes Dear I think…I think I’m all sound”

“What?…Did you see that…did you see what I did?
I jumped up off that floor like I was a…kid!”
“Oh yes Dear I saw that and you look younger too!”
“I feel full of life and…well…I feel almost new!”

And then Santa kissed her as they both shed a tear!
“I’m so excited…I can’t wait for next year!”

I’m not sure that I should be telling you this story but…well here goes! Santa likes to have a little fun now and again and one year, right around Thanksgiving Santa went down into the Southworld, (that’s what he calls everything south of the north pole, which of course EVERYTHING is.)
Anyhow, he saw that a “Santa Look-alike” contest was being held at a shopping mall in Minnesota.
He chuckled as he saw the men lining up to enter. While some looked amazingly like him many looked more like Ernest Hemingway, at least according to Santa.
Well, he had to “Ho Ho Ho” and sit kids on his lap and stand with Left then Right then Back profiles and finally after all the dozens of contestants were evaluated by the audience and judges, he was asked to come up onto the stage with two other Santa Wannabes.
After a long and loud drum roll the winner was announced and Santa came in third!

“The very last house too!” Santa had just extracted himself from the chimney on Christmas Eve when the motion detector set off the burglar alarm.
So there he was, munching his 267th cookie and 97th ounce of milk that night, when the entire Carter family, Mom and Dad and Jimmy and Sarah and of course, included were “Bark” the cat and “Meow” the cocker spaniel.
“Ah…Ho Ho Ho and all that!” said a very tired Santa who heard disgruntled and impatient hooves up on the roof.
When the Sheriff and his two deputies arrived, there were many apologies and wishes of Merry Christmas floating through the air.
“Wait…I’ve got something for all of you in the sleigh.” said Santa as he grunted his way back up the chimney.
A minute later he clumped to the hearth carrying an armful of Coca Colas and passed them around.
“The Coke CEO is a friend of mine! Train set when he was six.”
Then Santa gave out Best Buy gift cards to all. “Walkman, when that Chairman of the Board was seven.”
As Santa struggled up the last chimney for the last time this year, two deputies in the hearth, carefully pushing to assist, Sheriff Boyd called out “Happy Vacation Santa”.
“Thanks Calvin!” Santa’s voice echoed down the chimney.
“No one has called me Calvin since I was a boy!”

And that is another reason why Santa is SO COOL!

“Eve Dear, have you seen this year’s Christmas list? I can’t seem to locate it.”
Santa was looking in all the usual places.
“Why no Snookums, I haven’t seen it since last December”…replied Mrs. Claus.
“Well that was last year’s “GOOD” list and things may have drastically changed since then.” Santa said, while accidentally overturning the ribbon bin.
“Perhaps one of the elves has it to get a count of how many of a certain gift to make.” Mrs. Claus suggested.
“No…Elphonso would have told me…but I’ll check with him anyway.”
Santa buzzed the workshop on his special phone that was a gift from the C.E.O. of A.T.and T. who never did forget that Santa had brought him the Southern Pacific train set one Christmas when that C.E.O.’s parents were unemployed.
“Yes Boss…Elphonso here!” ansered the senior elf.
Santa asked about the list but got no positive answer from the busy workshop.
“Oh my!” exclaimed Santa. “Without that list even very misbehaving children will be getting top shelf gifts and that would set a very bad precedent!”
“Maybe the children who KNEW that they were not really as good as they could have been during the year will appreciate the kindness and forgiveness if you treat them as “Good List” kids.” Mrs. Claus slyly suggested.
“Hmmm….well…it may come to that if I can’t locate my list.”
Santa resumed digging through the back of the closet under the red and white trimmed suits stored there.
It was WAY too late to compile a new list and it wouldn’t be fair to use last year’s list, so Santa just sat in his big easy chair and resigned himself that Mrs. Claus’ suggestion of gifting EVERY kid would be his decision for at least this Christmas.
And kids…that was YESTERDAY!
So…all of you kids out there that were not exactly on your best behavior this year, (and you all know who you are) will get a gift from the Jolly Old Elf this Christmas.
So my suggestion to you is to enjoy the benefits of a “Good List” kid and do your very best to earn your own way onto the list next year.
Because we all know that Santa isn’t going to lose next year’s list don’t we!

Mrs. Claus was very concerned that Santa, the “Jolly Old Elf” as he is sometimes referred to, needed a bit of assistance as he became more “Old” than “Elf” but still “Jolly”.
Mrs.Claus, (her first name is “Eve” as we mentioned in a previous story) suggested that Santa hire an intern to assist with his annual duties.
Santa at first considered the idea “preposterous” but Eve saw how slowly that he climbed into and out of the sleigh and other small clues that made clear to her that Santa could use a non-Elf hand or two.
But who would be available to help Santa in the cold cold North Pole?
Perhaps a young person from Siberia or Finland or Alaska. She even considered a robot until she remembered that the elves had to keep all robot presents warm until delivery.
Plus the fact that as Santa’s assistant, the work would be a concentrated part time job which made her think of a college student that always had off of classes for the Christmas holidays.
Then there was the problem of advertising the job. There might be thousands of applicants and who would interview them and neither Eve nor Santa would want to disappoint a single one.
What to do?
Maybe the answer wasn’t hiring an intern after all but just to lighten the Christmas Eve load of gifts that Santa had to deliver.
By the way, all of this happened 20 or so years ago and we just heard about it during one of our fireside chats with the Claus’.
You all know by now what Mrs. Claus did to help Santa and he is still managing to handle his Christmas Eve duties by himself.

What? Oh yes…I didn’t actually remind you of the solution to Santa’s problem…why UPS, FedEX and all of the postal services around the world.
Have a Merry Christmas and don’t forget to check your front steps and mailboxes kids.

It was the fourth Thursday in November 1621 (far as we can tell) and adults and young’ns and Indian guests assembled for a hearty harvest meal.
“Aesop stop bangin’ on that thing and get in here to dinner!”
“I want drumsticks!” the little guy demanded as he dragged himself away from his musical percussion toy.
“There ain’t no gifts on Thanksgiving…shut up and eat your Turkey legs!”
As the crew sat around the handhewn table and after barely getting a taste of the first Thanksgiving feast…
“I’m STUFFED!” a complaint sounded!
“It’s the Turkey Martha…I told you 100 degrees weren’t hot enough to cook him!”
“Best get the ones outta the fire then!” she reluctantly agreed.
“I’m outta here!” the Tom scrambled off the center of the table, leaking stuffing as he went.
“Next year better make “dressing” not stuffing in case that happens again Martha. I’m losin’ my appetite.”
“I want a new stove!” she responded.
“What time is the game?” inquired Chief Wampanoag.
“Lacrosse or soccer?”
“Let’s invent football!” Aesop suggested.
The chief said “How”(“asked” how?)… they were never sure!
“Get the pigskin and let’s kick it around”
“You can be the Chiefs, Chief and we’ll be the New England Patriots. OK!”
“As long as I’m not the Redskins I’ll play!” he answered.
The game began but the football deflated when the Patriots were on offense and Chief Wampanoag left taking his Indian corn and carrot souffle with him.
“That went well!” Said John Barleycorn as he drifted off to sleep after suffering the very first overdose of Tryptophan in history!
“Wait ’til next year!” shouted Aesop!
And we all have, for the 395 years since.

“What’s wrong Tommy?” said Henny.
Tom pointed his wing toward the side of the home tree.
“What?” asked Henny.
“The Calendar.”
“Yes it’s very nice…new isn’t ….OH….I SEE!”
“Yeah…THIS WEEK!” mumbled Tom with his beak drooped down into his floppy red wattle.
“We were fine last year…remember?” Henny reminded Tom attempting to cheer him up.
“Yeah, but I still lost two tail feathers scraping that high stone fence escaping those camouflaged humans.”
Tom was a very unhappy turkey that, try as he might, could NOT keep from staring at the calendar that had NOVEMBER 26th circled in red.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” Tom jumped at the noise.
“That was farmer Walter’s old pickup backfiring….relax Tom.” said Henny using her softest gobble.
“We should just get rid of this calendar Tom if it’s gonna trouble you so……wait…TOM…this calendar is….from last year 2015…Thanksgiving was YESTERDAY!”
Tom looked as if a huge load had been lifted from his wings and he and Henny trotted off wing in wing into farmer Walter’s garden and celebrated the day AFTER Thanksgiving by chomping on a small leftover pumpkin and wishing each other a “Happy NO Thanksgiving”.

As Santa returned from his worldwide tour
Mrs. Claus met him at the Polar front door
“You look tired my Dear more than last year
I hope all went well and I’m glad you are here!”

“May I get you some tea or a sandwich to eat?”
“No…I’m full of cookies and I’m dead on my feet!”
As Santa rested in his big easy chair
He noticed a large package…”What is that there?”

“Did I not gift some girl or some boy…
A small child that I’ve failed to bring Christmas joy?”
“No Dear…not at all!” Mrs. Claus then replied
“It was brought by someone who left it outside!”

“The tag said “To Santa…Father Christmas…St. Nick…
And whomever left it was quiet and quick!”
“Ah that I was as quiet and quick as before
I was almost seen at three houses or four!”

“Perhaps I’ve gotten too old for this task
Each Christmas I wonder…Will this be my last?”
“Well it would be nice if you were younger that’s true
In just one evening there’s so much to do.”

“But open your package….it’s your first present ever!”
“No one sends Santa a present…no never!”
Santa ripped the gift wrapping off like a child
Excitement danced in his eyes like fire wild

Then suddenly a great light shone from within
The gift was so bright it made the sun seem quite dim
And after a minute the light quickly went black
Knocking Santa over, he lay flat on his back!

“Oh my Dear are you all right?
That strange package had an unworldly light!”
Santa leaped high up…two feet off the ground
“Yes Dear I think…I think I’m all sound”

“What?…Did you see that…did you see what I did?
I jumped up off that floor like I was a…kid!”
“Oh yes Dear I saw that and you look younger too!”
“I feel full of life and…well…I feel almost new!”

And then Santa kissed her as they both shed a tear!
“I’m so excited…I can’t wait for next year!”