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DOG DAYS by Russ McKay aka rumorofhumor.com

I shouldn’t be telling you this stuff. I mean I could really get into a lot of trouble with other mutts in the canine club, but I’ve always liked humans…well most of ’em.
Being a dog, and when I say dog I mean a REAL dog, not one of those so called “pure breds” as they like to be referred to. Life is not really too bad…IF you’ve got the right “owner” (hate that term) Now I personally prefer table scraps but my…ah…family feeds me dry food and an occasional dog bone. I get petted a lot but not NEARLY as often as when I was a puppy, and I get outside almost too much. Hey, I’m not a big fan of cold weather either!
We dogs understand humans lots better than humans understand us. Of course the intent of this story here is to close the gap between us a bit.
We can smell better than you can, although that sometimes is a major drawback believe me, and we can hear lots better too. By the way if you know which idiot human invented the dog whistle let me know. Some of my friends would be interested in “meeting” them too!
And also by the way, those electronic fences!!! Another idiot dude by dogdom standards. Not only do we have to learn how the stupid thing works the HARD way…but all those leashless mean dogs can walk right through and get at us. It isn’t fair…and it HURTS!
Oh I know….I know it sounds like we dogs don’t appreciate our humans but that really isn’t true. We’re not called “Man’s Best Friend” for nothin’.
We LOVE fetching sticks, well most of us do, some dogs are just grumpy. And we don’t mind getting slippers and bringing them to our human, although sometimes it IS tempting to just chew and rip ’em around pretending that they are freshly caught game.
But try to understand…we DO have instincts and were once wild animals that had to hunt and stuff before we were “domesticated.”
Let’s just enjoy each other’s company and dogs and humans will get along just great. By the way…support your local SPCA.

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THE LAST UNICORN by Russ McKay

One afternoon Jenny was walking along a small stream that ran near her home when she spotted an animal leaning down and drinking from the river. As she drew closer it looked just like a small horse, a pony maybe, but something was different. Something was VERY different!
The horse was sorta pinkish and had, believe it or not, a horn growing straight out of its forehead!
Jenny wondered if this was a confused goat with only one horn or a pony which had somehow been born with too much of whatever it was that made hooves and wound up with that whitish horn sticking out of its head.
Jenny just stood there staring at the strange pony when it suddenly jerked its head up out of the stream and looked over in her direction. It immediately jumped up from its lowered drinking position and turned to run away.
“Don’t run away…please…please stay…I won’t hurt you…. I promise!”
The animal had run a few steps then stopped, then slowly turned to look back at Jenny. She could see its horn really well now in profile as the pony looked at her. They both stared at each other for the longest time. Jenny didn’t want to move, afraid she’d scare the animal into running away again and the animal was not sure if there was danger with the little girl that had called out.
Finally, standing perfectly still and not moving at all Jenny said in a calm low voice “What kind of pony are you?” I’ve never seen a pony with a…horn…like yours …’though it’s a VERY nice one!”
The animal looked around and continued to stare then slowly turned its head to fully face Jenny and took one small step closer to her. Jenny stood perfectly still. The animal looked all around again and then, looking right at Jenny said…”I’m a Unicorn!”
Jenny’s eyes grew large and wide and she didn’t blink for the longest time.
“I…I’ve heard of…you…” Her heart was beating so fast and so loud that she thought perhaps the Unicorn could hear it!
“I’m…lost!” the Unicorn said to Jenny in a soft sad voice.
“Where is your home?”
“Well…it’s up the river…or maybe down the river…but I’ve forgotten which way. It was dark when I left…well…actually RAN away!”
“Why…Oh my…why did you run away from your home?”
“Some…people…not really very nice people were going to take me off to the city.”
“What about your parents or…ah…your owner or whatever you had…?”
“I don’t know what happened really. One day those people just came and tried to rope me and they had a van and all…” A large tear fell out of the Unicorn’s eye and it put its head down…”…so I ran away! I’m a VERY fast runner…but…I guess my sense of direction isn’t the best!”
“Oh Dear…that’s not nice of them at all!”
Jenny walked slowly up to the animal and gently put her hand out to pet the Unicorn. The animal startled at her first touch but then let her stroke its neck. Two more tears fell from its eyes.
“I’m very sorry that you’re sad.”
“I’m sorry that I’m sad too.”
“Do you want to…go back home?”
“I don’t know…I guess not…not now.”
“Well…I don’t know what to do for you or where to hide you.”
“I just KNOW somebody is going to see me and try to…” More tears fell.
“Well…I’ve got an idea. We’ll ask my Daddy what to do. He’s very smart and he likes horses…ah well…I’m sure he’d like Unicorns too…and…”
“NO! Adults don’t understand about Unicorns…not at all…you can’t tell him about me!”
“Don’t worry…my Daddy is different…he WILL understand and know exactly what to do…I’m sure!”
‘Oh my…I’m not so sure…I haven’t had a whole lot of luck with adults so far…”
“JENNY…JENNY…it’s time for dinner….”
“Oh…That’s him…. my Daddy…please don’t be afraid!”
“Oh…There you are….WHAT???….Jenny whose pony is …a PINK pony???”
“Daddy…this is a scared and lost….Unicorn that needs to hide from some mean city people that tried to get him!”
“A UNICORN…I thought…they were just…a REAL UNICORN???”
“Yes Daddy…see his horn?” Then she whispered….”…he’s very scared.”
“Ah…well…what should we…what CAN we do with him…it…whatever?”
“We have to hide him…make him look like a pony. Maybe Miss Stephanie at Wild Horses Farms riding school could hide him for us.”
“It’s a UNICORN Jenny…and a PINK one at that!”
“Oh Daddy think of something please!”
“We can’t take him home…but…wait…I’ve got an idea…ah…just wait here…both of you!”
Jenny’s father left and the Unicorn said “He…seems…nice and all…but he’s still an adult and I…”
“Don’t worry…he’ll help us…I’m sure of it!”
After a few minutes Jenny’s Daddy came back with an old straw hat and a can of gray spray paint.
“Here Jenny…put this hat over his horn and I’ll spray the pinkest parts of him and he’ll look like a gray pony and we’ll take him over to Miss Stephanie and see if we can make her understand…although I’m not sure I actually do…well anyway…let’s do it!”
Jenny and her Daddy sprayed the Unicorn and as they did, the Unicorn said…”That tickles!”
“Yeah…maybe it does…but it’s better than crying!” The Unicorn had to agree to that!
When they had finished, Jenny put the straw hat on the Unicorn’s head and completed the camoflage. The pink Unicorn looked just like any gray pony with a silly straw hat on its head.
“What do you think Jenny?”

“Yeah Daddy…it’s great!”

‘Let’s get him over to the horse farm and see if we can make Miss Stephanie understand.”

The three of them walked over to the stables creating some stares and snickers from the few folks that saw them but they finally got to Wild Horses Farms.

“What have we here?” Miss Stephanie met the trio at the gate.

“It’s a kinda strange story Miss Stephanie…may we all come in…we’d like to board our…ah…pony?” asked Jenny’s father.

“My what a cute pony you have there. Sure come on in…I think I have just the perfect companion for your…ah…pony!”

Jenny and her father breathed a sigh of relief but then started to wonder how they would tell Miss Stephanie that their …ah…pony…was really a Unicorn. Miss Stephanie led them all back to a small stable in the very rear of the property far away from the road, with its own pasture, trough  and bales of hay.

“This is very nice back here Miss Stephanie.” said Jenny.

“Yes Jenny…I think it will be the perfect place to keep your…UNICORN!”

Jenny, her Daddy and even the Unicorn were stunned! “H-How did you know…that…our pony…”

Miss Stephanie opened the narrow stable door and there, its head down in the hay eating, was a very pink…very horned… Unicorn!

Then Jenny’s Unicorn  smiled and nodded at the other Unicorn and as Miss Stephanie took Jenny’s Unicorn’s hat off she said “I thought mine was the last Unicorn…I’ve had her since I was eight years old!”

“It may take a while for the gray paint to wear off Jenny, but I think they’ll both be very happy here…and you can come and visit anytime you wish!”

“Oh thank you Miss Stephanie, and Daddy…I can tell my Unicorn is happy now…he’s not crying anymore and I think…yes I’m sure…he’s smiling.”

Jenny’s Unicorn went over and put his head down next to the other Unicorn and began to eat some hay too.

And ever since that day…Jenny has visited with her happy Unicorn and gotten to know Miss Stephanie’s Unicorn too. And no one else in the whole world knew about the secret Unicorns and that’s the way Jenny, Daddy and Miss Stephanie wanted it…not to mention the two Unicorns…neither of which was thankfully, the Last Unicorn!

The Most Beautiful Doll In The World by Russ McKay (based on a true story)

Everyday without fail little Becky would walk home at the end of her day in first grade at Dillon Elementary School past Bateman’s Hardware Store on Main Street and stop and look into the front window.
Oh there were drills and table saws and levels and even red and green Christmas lights in the window but there was also, tucked into the far left corner, the most wonderful, beautiful doll in all of South Carolina standing up all alone in the corner.
It was already cold. It DOES get could in the Carolinas in December and Becky would cup her hands and lean against the thick glass and peer into the deep window and stare at “her” Dolly until the fog from her breathing clouded the view. Then she’d back away and wipe off the window with her bare hand and peer again.
She had “visited” the Doll, named by Becky as “BESS” every day of the week. By Thursday even the shop owner Mr. Bateman noticed Becky’s punctual visits and came outside to say…”Yes! She really is beautiful isn’t she?”…and stood by also admiring the Pink and white frilly dressed doll with the bluest eyes and curliest blond hair.
“She’s a beauty alright!” He would say to Becky.
Becky just nodded and quietly and softly said…”She’s the prettiest doll in the whole world!”
It was Friday. The last weekday before Christmas and after the final school day before the holidays, Becky again stopped by Batemans to visit “her” Doll.
Yes, the drills and saws and green and red lights were still there but “BESS”….WAS GONE!!!
Becky was stunned! She almost cried but then collected her emotions and thought to herself…”I….guess some lucky girl will have a most wonderful Christmas and I hope…that…Bess…is very happy in her new home.”
But as she thought those thoughts, a very small tear edged down her cheek as she slowly walked the rest of the way home.
Christmas morning didn’t quite have the same urgency for little Becky that year.
She had hung her stocking and left the cookies and milk for Santa and even given her last allowance to the Salvation Army but couldn’t completely put “Bess” out of her mind.
Becky’s Mom and Dad even had to wake her up that Christmas and invite her downstairs to see what Santa had left.
Becky wiped the sleep out of her eyes and quietly followed her joyful parents down the stairs.
Then as she focused on the beautiful Christmas tree, there, propped up on a small pillow and majestically placed in the very center was… BESS!

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THE WHISPERING FROG by Russ McKay

Freddy opened his mouth for his morning “ribbit” and absolutely nothing came out. He tried again and again but still…nothing. This had never happened before. Well he couldn’t croak when he was a tadpole but neither could any of the other tadpoles in the pond.
If a frog can’t croak…well….he might as well be a salamander…not that there’s anything wrong with being a salamander but Freddy had heard his father’s booming bull frog croak and wanted to be and sound just like him.
Since Freddy was a “wild” frog he wasn’t even aware that veterinarians existed. Frogs, like all animals that live in nature have to deal with illness and injuries on their own. Freddy hoped that his voice would return very soon and he tried gargling stream water but that didn’t help.
Freddie was hoping that none of his pond friends would notice his “not” croaking but as Sammy slug slithered by he whispered ” What’s a matta…got a frog in yer throat? Hee Hee Hee…..” and he slimed on down the rock on the pond bank leaving his tell-tale track.
“Now everyone’s gonna know that I can’t croak. That Sammy is such a gossipy slug!”
But there were other pond residents that were sympathetic to Freddy’s condition and waved their fins or shook their shells as Tommy the turtle did but none had a solution for Freddy’s condition.
As Freddy was contemplating his next attempt at a cure an infrequent visitor to the pond a large white swan landed and glided nearby to Freddy. “Oh Miss swan do you know anything about…ah sore throats? I noticed that you have a very long neck and so at one time or another you must have….” But the swan held up a black webbed foot and shook her head and then immediately flew off dripping water as she rose into the air and circled the pond then flew off. At first Freddy thought that the swan’s actions were very rude then later he found out from Mr. Mallard that she was actually a “Mute Swan” and that explained everything!
Then Freddy thought about who would be the smartest, wisest animal that he knew and as he was wondering, he heard “WHO…Wh…WHO…”
It was the barn owl Ollie. Surely he was the smartest animal around the pond Freddy would ask him. But wait! Owls sometimes liked to dine on reptilians but Freddy was an amphibian wasn’t he? Well, just to be safe Freddy waited until Ollie had finished his dinner or breakfast or whatever it was. You couldn’t be sure with owls, they keep such odd hours.
When Freddy was certain that Ollie was hooting an “after meal” hoot he jumped around to get Ollie’s attention. After all he couldn’t yell up at him. It took a while but finally Ollie saw Freddie and swooped down and landed on the rock next to Freddy’s lily pad.
“What’s up?” asked Ollie wiping his beak off with his left talon. Freddy pointed to his throat and whispered…”I can’t croak….”
“Ummmm…have you tried gargling?”
“Yep!” whispered Freddy.
“Ummmm….well….maybe you could hop over to that house over there and get onto the back porch. A kid lives there and he’ll want to keep you as a pet and when he finds out you are a frog that can’t croak his Mom will give you human medicine and cure you. Then you can escape back here. Well…see you later!” and the Owl flew off quickly and silently back up into his tree hollow.
“Pretty smart!” thought Freddy but then he remembered that his Dad had told him to watch out for humans because some of them eat….Freddy didn’t even want to finish the thought about his frog legs and decided that Ollie’s suggestion just wouldn’t do.
Freddy also tended to dismiss the suggestions of the nearby squirrels because he thought that they were nuts. A honey bee said that honey was a great treatment for a sore throat but wasn’t about to give up any in his hive and Freddy had no way of getting up to the nest anyway.
After about three days of inquiry and contemplation Freddy was just about to give up and be a “mute” frog…perhaps the world’s first, when Pierre the rabbit hopped by. Freddy was about to ask him about curing laryngitis but then realized rabbits never talked anyhow, they just wiggled their noses and ears and silence was one of their defenses to predators. Oh yes and a rabbit’s very fast legs too, let them scoot away from danger.
Freddy decided to give his throat just one last try before committing himself to a life of non-croaking when a faint, and somewhat crackling “Ribbit” emitted from his throat. “Huh?” He tried again and as he kept trying his voice kept getting stronger and stronger and soon he was about 95% back to his old croaky self.
All of the other pond animals heard him and some inhabitants of the pond were happier to hear Freddy return to his natural croaking state than others.
The mayflys and crickets and mosquitoes were delighted to return to the pond now that they could tell exactly where Freddy was, which let them be sure that they were as very far from Freddy as they could get.
“I guess sometime you just have to let nature take it’s course!” said Freddy, which of course it always does.

MR. LINDEN’S LIBRARY by Lucy McKay Guest Author 7 years old

Twenty years ago Mrs. Linden read a book before she went to bed. Once she fell asleep a magic train went out on some vines, picked up Mrs. Linden and went back into the book with Mrs. Linden.
Mr. Linden woke up to find no one by his side. He heard a tiny cry.
Mr. Linden knew what Mrs. Linden’s cry sounded like and the cry that he heard sounded just like her cry but tinier.
Her cry came from the book she read the night before.
Mr. Linden soon found out that the only way he could talk to Mrs. Linden was if he opened the book up to the first page.
And that book became the first book in Mr. Linden’s library.
Mr. Linden bought lots of books to see if anyone was stuck inside the books. No one was stuck except one person who he helped get out. Her name was Lyla, and she was 15.
Mr. Lynden asked “How did you get into that book?”
“Well, it’s a long story.” said Lyla.
“Will you tell it to me? I have a lot of time to spare” said Mr. Linden.
“Well, OK. My Dad let me read anything, so I did. When I was about to
start the 10th time, my Dad walked into my room and said “Don’t!”…but it was too late because I had already started reading.
Some vines came out of the book with a train on the vines. The train took me into the book.I was never seen again until you saved me.” said Lyla.
That’s a very wonderful story Lyla, we should put it in a book.” said Mr. Lynden…and so he did!

NORTH POLE HALLOWEEN by Russ McKay

Halloween was getting close and Santa hadn’t decided what costume he would choose to wear this year. Last year he dressed up as the Easter Bunny but his eggs froze and the year before he wanted to be the Tooth Fairy but he couldn’t fit into the tights…TOO TIGHT!
He asked Mrs. Claus for her ideas. After all….it was mostly her skill as a seamstress that enabled Santa to have any costume at all. She said that she would think about it but she had to decide what to wear herself. She usually attended the Halloween parties as the wife of whatever character Santa himself was dressed up as but this year decided that she would be someone different…maybe Marie Antoinette. She would design and sew herself a beautiful ball gown and give out cupcakes to all at the party.
It was always kept a secret what everyone was wearing until the actual party. The elves stayed in their workshops creating their costumes and Santa and Mrs. Claus didn’t leave their house until they headed for the actual Halloween party in the barn.
The reindeer, who weren’t very handy since they had no hands just switched nameplates every year and Santa had to guess which reindeer they really were. Rudolph wore makeup on his nose and went as Dasher last year.
Well…finally Santa decided that to both trick all the elves and to honor them too, this year Santa would dress up as an elf. Mrs. Claus painted an old pair of Santa’s workpants green, (no tights remember) and as soon as the cupcakes were cool and frosted she put them on a silver tray and both she and Santa headed for the party Barn on Halloween night.
Mrs. Claus entered first and the elves were surprised and yelled and whistled at Mrs.Claus and her cupcakes and then when Santa came in they were surprised to see the biggest elf EVER!
But the most surprised was Santa himself…because you see all of the elves were dressed ….as SANTA!

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MISMATCHED SOCKS by RussMcKay

“Get your heel outta my face please!”
“Hey…like I can help it or somethin’!  I got some ugly argyle toe in MY face!”
“Ah watch who yer callen ugly Laddie.”
“Yeah…well…I just want my mate…I haven’t seen Lefty in weeks.”
“Me too…it’s so nice in that sock drawer chattin’ with those other matched pairs…ah…I really  miss it.”
“The WORST are those athletic socks…they never really do get completely clean and they’re so thick and take up so much of our space here!”
Then there was a whimper and sob coming from the top of the pile.
“There there…you’ll be OK little one…we’re all here with you.”
The baby sock with it’s pink ruffle was very sad having just come from the last dryer load.
“I….I….think my match is…..ooohhhh….still in the dryer….CAUGHT!”
“Yeah…happened to golf sock over there…never did find his mate. Oh I shouldn’t have said that should I?”
“Boo Hoo…I’ll never see him again.”
“Now Now….it’ll be OK…you’ll see.
Then all of a sudden the woven basket that held them was lifted and dumped on the big bed. Then soon after, another pile of socks was thrown onto the bed.
“Hey….there’s my….HEY OVER HERE!”
Then human hands started matching up all the socks and folded and tucked the pairs together and threw them into the sock drawer. All of the socks were happy except one old striped one with a hole in the toe.”So long guys maybe I’ll see you all again soon.”
The little baby sock with the pink ruffle was still sad so the striped sock let it snuggle up as they were placed back into the woven basket.
“Maybe next time little one.”Then whispering to himself….”I HATE dryers!”

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WILD HALLOWEEN by Russ McKay

“Is your Dad letting you go this year?”
“Well…he hasn’t said “No” yet!”
“Tell him that all of us are going and you’d be the only one missing from the party!”
“Doesn’t work…tried that last year.”
“Ummmm….I’VE GOT AN IDEA!…tell him and your Mom that we need chaperones and they HAVE to dress up in a costume TOO!”
“Hey…that might work…I’ll try it tonight when Dad comes home from the woods.”
Dusty…the juvenile ground hog waddled back toward the hole which was the North entrance to the family burrow.
Rachael raccoon watched him leave and crossed her paws hoping that Dusty’s parents would let him go to this year’s celebration and EVEN join him there. It’s always fun for the animals to dress up in costumes and pretend they were not who they really were. After all, why should humans have all the fun?
Rachael hadn’t decided exactly what she was going to dress up as this year. Last year she went to the Halloween party as a badger.

All she really had to do was put some makeup over part of the black “bandit” looking eye fur but everybody knew exactly who she really was and recognized her instantly. It wasn’t really much of a costume and was a total flop as a disguise. This year she would fool them all, but she wasn’t sure exactly how just yet.

Dusty didn’t know it but his Mom had been talking to his Dad about the Halloween party this year and had already convinced him to let Dusty go. When Dusty asked his parents about being chaperons he was amazed how fast they agreed to let him go and go with him. Then after his Mom told Dusty they had ALREADY agreed that he could go to the festivities this year, Dusty wondered if he really had to suggest the “chaperone” idea at all! Oh well…he loved his parents and it WOULD be fun to see them in costume too! He wondered what they would dress up as.  And he wondered what HE would dress up as too!

Dusty was thinking about his costume in his burrow and Rachael was thinking in her home tree. Dusty thought that it would be great to be a really mean looking animal and Rachael was trying to think of the prettiest animal she could.

Dusty’s Mom and Dad were stumped as to what to be since they had to set a fine example for the young animals at the party.
Finally the days passed and the night of the Wild Halloween Party arrived. Squeeky the chipmunk was the first to arrive at the old
hollow oak tree and his costume made him look like a mouse with big ears and pink tail. After all Squeeky couldn’t exactly fool anyone  dressed up as an elephant! Next to arrive was Buster the dog with four coffee cups strapped to his paws and a homemade saddle on his back and a bunch of long grasses tied to his tail. He “whinnied” very convincingly.
Hester the cat believe it or not was dressed up as a poodle and had her fur curled all over her body and said “Meo…I mean…WOOF!”

Then Rachael showed up all dusted with pink powder and a pink bow around her neck…”I’m a teddy bear!”

Well, the ground hog family was right behind her with Mom and Dad in full costumes. Dad groundhog had a striped shirt on and black shorts and a silver whistle around his neck…”I’m gonna referee you kids tonight so you’d better behave!”
“Hurrah…Yeah!” shouted Mom groundhog who was shaking pom poms while wearing a pleated skirt and tennis shoes and a Tee shirt with a big “G” on it.

Tom Turtle had his shell painted orange with black eyes, nose and toothy mouth drawn on and so he was “Jack O Lantern”. He looked very convincing when he drew back his head and legs into his shell.

Dusty was the last to arrive and at first Rachael didn’t recognize him dressed up as the meanest looking raccoon you ever did see!
Then Rachael and Dusty and Dusty’s Mom and Dad and all the animals there laughed and had a great time at the wildest Halloween party EVER!.

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MAYOR WALLABEE AND THE LOST KEY by Russ McKay

“Oh my…oh me I’ve lost the city’s key!” Yes that was true and it is also true that everything the mayor of Smalltown said was said in rhyme.
Then little Tommy Smith asked “Do we really “lock” the city?”
“Well no not actually…it’s ceremonial.” answered Tommy’s teacher Miss Sugar.
“Well I’m gonna help Mayor Wallabee find it. I’m gonna be a detective when I grow up!” said Tommy.
“I’m sure he’d be pleased if you found it for him and you’d be doing the city a favor too!” Said Miss Sugar.
I’m going home and talk to Mickey about this mystery.”

Tommy went home and did talk to Mickey, his Bloodhound, but Mickey didn’t have a clue as to what happened to the City’s key.
Then Tommy had an idea…”What if I let Mickey sniff the lock to the City and then he can track the key to wherever it is with his amazing bloodhound nose!”
But when Tommy told the Mayor of his plan Mayor Wallabee said “Oh my…Oh me…it sure is a pity…Mickey can’t sniff it ’cause there’s no LOCK to the city!”

“Then we don’t really NEED a key do we?” asked Tommy… making a statement as well as asking a question.
“There’s no REAL lock…Sooooo…the answer has to be…Nooooo!” rhymed the Mayor.
“Ummmm…” Tommy’s “little grey cells were working hard now” as Hercule Perot, a favorite literary detective of Tommy’s would say.
“Exactly….when did you see the key last Mr. Mayor?”
“Let me see….when could it be?” The mayor put his hand to his chin and thought and thought.
“Ah!” exclaimed the mayor…”…it seems to me….the last time I saw the key…I was in the yard…talking to the guard.”
“Great…a clue…I know what to do…thank you!” said Tommy.
“Now the Mayor has ME doin’ it too.”
Tommy went to the garden in the rear of City Hall and there by the back gate stood a uniformed guard.
“Excuse me Sir…but I’m investigating the lost key to the city. The Mayor says that he was talking to you the last time he saw it.” Tommy had to look up at the very tall guard.
“Ummm…let me think….I remember talking to the Mayor….by the way have you noticed that everything he says “Rhymes”?
“Ah yes….do you recall seeing a Key during your discussion.”
Tommy thought that he sounded very…well…like a detective interrogating the guard.
Then Tommy noticed a very large object sticking out among the many keys on the guard’s huge key ring.
“May I inquire what that object on your key ring is? asked Tommy.
The guard looked down and examined the key ring “Oh my….I think this is the item that I found on the ground after my talk with the Mayor! I thought I had dropped one of my many keys.”
“I bet that’s it…the missing key to the city. May I have it to take to the Mayor?” asked Tommy.
“I guess…it doesn’t open anything that I know of!” And the guard gave the key to Tommy who returned it to the Mayor.
The Mayor was so thankful that the lost key was found by detective “to be” Tommy he declared the next day “Tommy Smith Day” in Smalltown. And at the ceremony where Tommy’s parents, Miss Sugar,Mickey and many townspeople attended Mayor Wallabee awarded Tommy the “Key To The City!”

IMAGINARY FRIEND by Russ McKay

“Monique, you are so lucky to live in France…it must be wonderful.” Susie said to her “friend”
“Oui…it is….how you say…exquisite!” Monique replied.
“Could you teach me to speak French?” Susie asked.

“Oh Oui Mon Amie…that means “Yes my friend”

“It’s SOOO exciting having a friend like you Monique.”

“Susan…are you talking on the phone? It’s too late for that….now go to sleep…you have school tomorrow Dear!” Her mother had called from the hallway….”Yes Mom….I know….I’m in bed….Good Night!” …and Susie turned out the light and pulled up the pink coverlet with the fleur- di- Lis design that she’d gotten for her seventh birthday last week.

The next day Susie taught her school friends how to say “Yes my friend” in French. There were many conversations containing “Mon Amie”and “Oui” among Susie’s friends and they all seemed to love saying things in French as much as Susie did…AND they all wanted to meet  Susie’s new friend Monique.

“Well Monique DOES live in France….ah….Toulouse France to be exact. That’s in the south of France you know near the Riviera.” Susie advised.

Susie’s friends ( the REAL ones) were very impressed. They didn’t have foreign friends that spoke foreign languages and nearly all of them wished that they did. Each day her friends would ask “Did you talk to Monique last night?” Sometimes Susie did and sometimes she didn’t. Her friends seemed disappointed when Susie reported no conversations and no new French words or sayings for them at school the next day.

After about ten days or so Susie reported to her friends that Monique was going on vacation with her family and wouldn’t be calling for awhile. Susie’s friends were all disappointed to hear the news but knew that they’d just have to wait until Monique and her family returned to France after their vacation.

After two days of no “calls” from Monique, at about seven o’clock at night just after dinner, Susie’s doorbell rang. Mr. Jenkins,  Susie’s dad answered the door since it was homework time and Susie was up in her room studying.
Then she heard her father call out “Someone to see you Susan Dear…a Miss Monique….from France!”